Every family has its tensions – and sometimes these interpersonal hostilities go back to childhood.

Personally, I think they go back lifetimes.

In my family, it’s been my sister Anne and me. Anne is five years older, and we’ve always fought. Ever since I can remember. I won’t go into why we’ve fought, but we just have.

There’s always been a huge tension between us.

And then I did the Camino and she started reading my blog. And one day, out of the blue during my walk, I got an email from her. I never get emails from my sister, other than to tell me what an asshole I am.

In this email though, she told me that I’d changed, and that I was now a nice person. That’s the word she used, nice. And she signed off Love, Anne. 

This had a profound affect on me during the Camino. And when I got back home I called her, and we had a wonderful talk. I can’t remember when my sister and I have ever spoken on the phone without there being some underlying strain.

There was none on this call. She reiterated that while reading the blog during my Camino, she’d realised what a nice person I’d become. There’s that word again – nice. 

Last night, at our family get-together, I saw her for the first time since the walk. She rushed up and gave me a huge hug and a kiss, (which again never happens), and she said to me: You’ve come back. Meaning, I’d returned to my essential being.

We sat together and we talked and laughed. In previous years I’ve usually found a way to sit up the other end of the table, and not say much to her. Last night it was like a huge veil had lifted – a veil that had separated us since childhood. And I could see her clearly, and she could see me clearly too. That we were brother and sister, we were family, and that we loved one another.

She wanted to talk to me about my Camino, about the towel, and how important it was that I give it back to Balazs. And the Korean lass at the Santiago Cathedral Pilgrims’ Mass, how she rushed over and hugged me. And my sister told me how she laughed and had tears in her eyes when the lass asked: You take taxi? 

I was surprised to discover how keenly she’d followed each step of my pilgrimage – and last night we sat together and we laughed and chatted and I simply can’t remember the last time we’ve done that.

I told her my new niceness would now upset the whole dynamic of the family. And we laughed about that too.

When I think about it, this would have to be the most important thing the Camino has given me – it’s brought my sister and me back together again. After more than fifty years.

The Camino reminded us both that the only thing that matters is love.

This morning I went for a walk with my brother, Bob.

There is a creek at the back of the motel, and a pathway, which every year we follow, and it seems that each year it takes us some place different.

This time it took us to a railway bridge, which we climbed up to. I ended up walking about 4kms, and even though my knee was sore, it didn’t stop me enjoying the walk immensely – the longest walk I’ve had since doing the Camino.

Below are shots of my brother, my mother, my niece and Jennifer – as well as some shots around town – Stanthorpe.

You might have noticed some strange activity on the blog these last couple of days –

And you might have seen that the blog looks slightly different.

The brilliant young lady who does my internet stuff, Natacha, has been working to make the blog and the forum more streamlined. They are now integrated, so you can access the forum from the blog and vice versa –

As well, the forum has been inundated with spam in recent weeks, and I had clumsily tried to stop it, but in the process I made it difficult for some genuine users to log in, or stay on the forum. Natacha has now gone in and tidied all this up.

Not only that, but she’s also installed some heavy duty anti-spam software which should nix the spammers once and for all. Arlene was knocking out sometimes 20-30 spam posts per night – this should put an end to that.

So in short, it’s now safe to go back onto the forum. And as I say, it can be accessed from the blog, and the blog can be accessed from the forum.

Natacha is a national living treasure – and I take this opportunity to thank her.

Bill

Arlene will be leaving in a day to walk her second Camino.

I have asked her to do a guest blog on the eve of her departure, to give us some indication of how she’s feeling about it all.

It will be fascinating to follow her journey – and I will regularly reblog her blog onto this site –  but as she’s about to head off I wish her love, and safe travels, and I hope she has the best time!!  Bill

CAMINO FRANCES 2013

Logrono – Santiago de Compostela – Finisterre – Muxia

Well, here it is the eve of my departure to the Camino.  There are a million thoughts rushing through my mind as I check off the items on the “Must Do List” for the hundredth time.

Check – Exchange US dollars for a beginning supply of Euros

Check – Arrange for auto pay of my utility bills

Check – Notify the bank of debit card usage in Spain

Check – Arrange for mail to be picked up

Check – Confirm airline reservations

Check – Arrange for neighbor to check house and drive car weekly

Check – Pack cell phone, tablet, camera, Garmin and charging devices

Check, check and check – Another hundred items off the “List”

Thankfully the backpack has been ready for quite some time and put into its own special Osprey Airport Duffle Bag along with the trekking poles. (Thanks, PGS family for helping with that decision.)  I am, however, contemplating adding a Gore Tex jacket.

Naturally, I am anxious about the Camino.

Will I have good weather?

Will the training I’ve done be enough?

Will be too jet lagged to begin walking the morning after I arrive in Logrono?

Will I learn to trust my PGS to get me to Santiago de Compostela and then onwards to the Sea?

Will I be able to get in touch with my inner most feelings?

Will I become spiritually enriched?

When Sunday morning arrives, I will board the flight that will ultimately land me in Logrono, Spain on Monday after several flight changes along the way.  I will begin my second Camino Frances on 17 September.

For this Camino, I have promised myself to take my time, to enjoy the sights and wonders along the way.  I have vowed to be open to the miracles of the Camino and to let the true spirit of this ancient pilgrimage bring to me what it will.

My first Camino de Santiago brought me a completely new life, one filled with new family and friends from many different parts of this world.  And if I am lucky, my 2013 Camino will enhance my life even more.

Ultreia ~ Arlene

I drove 760kms today.

Through to Stanthorpe to meet up with my mother, who’s 86, and my brother, whom I’m very close to. The rest of the family comes in tomorrow.

Jennifer and I talked during the drive about pilgrimages. I told her that I walked around about the same distance as we were driving today. That disappointed her. She wanted to think that I walked further than 8 hrs drive!

I pointed out that we could do a pilgrimage in Australia – to Uluru, or Ayer’s Rock. It’s a very famous landmark – a deeply spiritual place for the aboriginal people. Although we’ve been to many religious and spiritual places around the world, we’ve never been to our own spiritual centre.

This is the only time in the year when I get to see all my family together – not even at Christmas do we all get together. So I guess this is our equivalent of Thanksgiving, without the thanksgiving, if you know what I mean.

My mother isn’t going to be around much longer. Each time I see her I wonder if it will be the last. And so around her, I’m always on my best behaviour!

Here are a couple of shots on the way up –

A dear friend, Libby, read my book and sent me an email yesterday, which I’ve now posted below.

The version of the manuscript I sent her though had a first draft epilogue. I changed it in subsequent drafts, and when I read her email I sent her the new epilogue – so I post that too, and her reaction to it.

Libby is not a NY Times critic, or someone unknown to me who’s bought the book from Amazon then sits down to critique it – she is, if you like, friendly fire.

But she’s exactly the demographic for this book – and whilst she’s a mate and a sweet sweet lady, she’s also a hard-headed businesswoman who’s intensely smart doesn’t mince words when she needs to. That’s why I value her comments here.

I am still waiting on the formatting guy – and I’m also still waiting on the cover art from my poster company. Both have been promising delivery for a while now. I’m hoping I’ll get it all by the weekend, and I can begin to get the completed book out onto the e-publishing sites next week.

As soon as it’s all done I will send a copy free to those of you who want one. Let me know if there’s any urgency and I’ll send a pdf – which will be the same text, just not in full book form with the snazzy formatting etc.

Anyway, so here’s what Libby had to say – then my redrafted epilogue – then her response.

 

Epilogue

To walk the Camino is to do a pilgrimage. 

That’s what I did – I became a pilgrim.

I followed in the footsteps of millions of other pilgrims who, over the years, the decades, the centuries, have made their way to Santiago.

What did I learn?

GRATITUDE:

I learnt to be grateful. Grateful for simple things.

For a bed at night. For clean clothes in the morning. I was grateful when it didn’t rain. I was grateful when the pain receded.

I learnt the meaning of gratitude.

HUMILITY:

I learnt humility.

My pain humbled me.

Other people humbled me too –

People who walked much further than me. People with pain much greater than mine.

Ultimately though, I was humbled by the occasion. By just walking the Camino.

That in itself was humbling.

THE POWER OF INCREMENTS

I learnt I could achieve big goals by taking small steps.

 A lot of small steps.

But only if I didn’t give up until I’d reached my goal.

MY POSSESSIONS ARE MY BURDEN:

I carried everything I needed on my back. Up and down mountains, across plains, over rivers.

My possessions were my burden. Anything unnecessary was an unnecessary burden.

It’s the same in life. My possessions are my burden.

JUDGE NOT:

There were so many times I judged people.

People I thought old and frail. People I thought not as capable as me.

Actually I mis-judged them. I was wrong.

I learnt that I must never judge, and never underestimate others.

 MIRACLES ARE POSSIBLE:

I discovered I was able to overcome obstacles I didn’t think possible.

And I saw miracles.

My pain left me on the Meseta. My eyesight improved. But perhaps the greatest miracle of all is that I changed.

 I BRING FORTH WHAT I FEAR THE MOST:

I learnt that what I fear the most, I bring into my life.

I was scared of steep climbs. Scared I wouldn’t make it. And because of my fear, I nearly didn’t.

I was scared my knee would thwart me.

It nearly did.

What I fear, I attract. 

THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN ISN’T SO BAD:

I discovered a magic mantra: What’s the worst that can happen?

Say that, and my fear disappears.

Because the worst that can happen invariably isn’t so bad after all.

I can deal with it.

So why should I live in fear?

 I CAN TRUST MY PGS:

I learnt I could trust my PGS – my Personal Guidance System – my intuition.

It shepherded me dextrously along the Camino.

The times I ignored it were the times I had difficulties.

The times I trusted it were the times I experienced something wonderful or profound.

 EVERY DAY IS A PILGRIMAGE:

I learnt that I don’t need to walk the Camino to be a pilgrim.

I can be a pilgrim every day of my life…

If I see my life as a pilgrimage.

WHAT DID I ULTIMATELY LEARN?

That the only thing that matters – that truly matters – is love. 

And here is what Libby said in response –

LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT!!!!!

 

That’s exactly what I wanted at the end! Your book is now officially perfect!

The next few days I’m driving –

Tomorrow I drive about 500mls from Mudgee up to a wine/apple district called Stanthorpe, just across the border into Queensland.

Every year at this time my family – mother, brother & family, two sisters and families – converge on this small country town to have a get-together. My mother is 86, and so we value this time with her each year.

Stanthorpe is mainly an apple growing area, but it also has some fairly desultory vineyards – but it’s the only wine area within driving distance of Brisbane, where my family lives.

There’s an Italian restaurant in town which has an all-you-can-eat buffet, and that’s another attraction. Each year we take it upon ourselves to try and send the restaurant broke the night we eat there.

All this would be good except that the night I’m due to have this nosh-up, the Swans are playing in a sudden-death semi-final – and I’ll miss it on telly. You have no idea what a test this is for me – to miss this game for a pig-out with my mum and my kin.

The next day, I drive 500mls back home. So, a thousand miles in three days. I will keep blogging though, and take some photos along the way…

My son, aged 28, is a cinema buff. His knowledge of Asian cinema far surpasses mine.

There is a very famous and highly regarded Japanese filmmaker, his name is Takashi Miike. He makes very graphic, very violent, outrageous films. He takes the rules of cinema and throws them out the window. Scholars have done PhDs on his body of work.

One of his famous, or infamous, movies is called Ichi the Killer. My son wanted me to watch it with him today. I’d seen some of the movie before, but hadn’t seen it all the way through. My son wanted me to see the film in its entirety. It’s one of his favourites.

Right at the start there’s a very graphic rape scene. And then later the same woman is raped and bashed again. I found it very disturbing. And partway through the film, I asked my son to turn it off. I told him I couldn’t watch it anymore.

He was disappointed, and reminded me that last time I’d watched it, I’d regarded the scenes of violence as an important part of the narrative, and I’d admired the over-blown outrageous nature of it all.

This time I couldn’t stand it. I simply couldn’t watch it, no matter how virtuoso the cinematic artistry was.

As my son was packing away the DVD, he asked me why I was so reactive this time. Last time I’d seen the film, I’d enjoyed it.

I told him: Now I’m a pilgrim...