I love India.

It’s a crazy place.

Today Jennifer and I flew back to Delhi from Dharamsala. And as we were about to go through security I noticed a notice on the wall, detailing what you weren’t allowed to carry in your hand baggage.

I surreptitiously took a photo, because you’re not allowed to take photos in Indian airports – and so you might need to size this up to see it, but let me give you a rundown on some of the things on this quite comprehensive list –

They have weaponry pretty well covered. You’re not allowed to take on board –

• Pellet guns
• Pistols
• Replica Weapons
• Riffles (their spelling – rifles with two “f”s
• Revolvers
• Shot Gun (their spelling, two words)
• Starters Pistols
• Toy Weapons
• Flair Pistol
• Automatic Weapon

It’s pleasing that their policy is so all encompassing. I’m not sure what the difference is between a pistol and a revolver, and I wonder if either can be an automatic weapon.

If you were someone intent on bad deeds, then you would be thwarted if your weapon of choice involved a blade. You would be turned away for instance if you carried a –

• Knives
• Scissors exceeding 6 cms
• Swords
• Razor blade
• Straight razor
• Axes (not just one axe, but plural axes)
• Box cutter
• Household cutlery. (I wonder if that includes a teaspoon?)

However if you gravitated more towards not a cut and thrust, but just a thrust, then you would be prevented from carrying –

• Knitting needles
• Screwdriver
• Skipole (their spelling, not mine!)
• Bows and arrow. (they must believe that anyone with multiple bows only carries one arrow)

They wouldn’t allow me to take my camera tripod on the plane as hand luggage, but I notice it’s not on the list. They do though have a real problem if you’re carrying explosives on board, and included in their no go list are –

• Plastic explosives
• Hand Grands (their spelling – presumably they mean hand grenades)
• Ammunition
• Gun lighter (that must be for your blunderbuss)
• Gun powder (that must be for your blunderbuss too)
• Road flares
• Tear Gas
• Gas lighter.

They seem to have a problem with tradies, because on their list you can’t carry on board –

• Trade Man tools
• Heavy and large tools
• Hammers

And the strangest of all, you aren’t allowed on board if you’re carrying –

• Pickles and spices.

They put pickles and spices in the same class of dangerous goods as plastic explosives and tear gas and hand grands.

Mind you, a dried red chilly can be pretty potent. And a cinnamon stick – whoa!

I wondered, standing as I waited for my turn to go through security, if you had any one of these items, would they allow you to put them through in your checked luggage.

Strangely, water or liquids of any kind were not on the list. I could have carried nitro-glycerine, which technically is not a plastic explosive, in a 1.5l water bottle, and they wouldn’t have checked me for it.

I love India ~