My heart skipped a beat this afternoon.

After the flight from London, picking up the rental, driving in the rain out of Porto, and trying to find the hotel in Arcos, I saw a series of yellow arrows.

markings on an old stone wall…

I can’t begin to describe to you what it meant – something as simple as seeing several yellow arrows pointing The Way.

It felt… right.

It felt like I’d never been away.

It felt like I was reconnecting with something that was innately familiar.

The hotel we’re staying in tonight is smack bang on the Portuguese Camino. Anyone coming from Porto would walk straight past.

The people who run this place – a delightful couple named Mira (who cooks) and Alfred (who  knows his Portuguese wines like no other) and their daughter Christina, all made us feel immediately at home.

The food was magnificent – I’ll detail that more in the Road Food blog in the next day or so. But there aren’t many times when you have a meal and there’s not one thing you can point to that’s in any way deficient.

Tomorrow Jennifer and I start charting the tour.

And great news – Steve has decided to join us! I’m over the moon about that. We’re going to have  a very cool bunch of people on this tour!

Mira walked from Porto to Santiago in five days, she said. She told me she averaged fifty kms a day. That’s Herculean. She looks very fit and strong though. It wouldn’t surprise me.

it’s great to be back and talking to people who share a similar obsession…
The Way of St. James.

(the church at Arcos, approx 20kms N of Porto.)

. 

This is the first business trip I've done post Camino.

I've done things vastly differently this trip, because of what I experienced on my pilgrimage.

By way of background, I've been an independent film producer / director for more than thirty years, and during that time I've traveled a lot. And by “a lot,” I mean up to three to four times a year, often around-the-world trips.

Everywhere from Australia is a long way. There were a few years where I was on the highest frequent flyer level on both Star Alliance and One World.

When you travel as much as I do, you establish a set routine, and you do things a very particular way. You do this to protect yourself from the visissitudes of jetlag, and to make life easier on the road.

This trip I busted that all wide open.

For starters, and I mentioned this before, I am traveling with just carry-on luggage.

I used to have carry-on (my trusty battered Lancel wheelie bag) plus a suitcase which invariably weighed 20kgs+. My carry-on would weigh 12kgs+.

This time I got everything I needed for three weeks on the road, attending business meetings and packing for cold weather, into a small Samsonite case that weighed 11kgs. Most of that weight was my MacBook Pro, and my Nikon kit.

Whenever I stay in London, I usually stay at a small boutique hotel in Soho. It's called Hazlitts. It's very exclusive, (for “exclusive” read “expensive”) and it's very cool. And it's right in the heart of the film industry in London.

Whenever you go to a business meeting, you're always asked where you're staying, and you're judged on that. If you're in London and you're staying at Hazlitts, then it means you're cool and you're successful.

This time I booked into a pub in Wandsworth.

Where?

Wandsworth is in the suburbs. It's across the Thames from Chelsea. It is definitely UN-cool. But it's REAL.

Why this particular pub? It's what's called a “gastro-pub,” which means it's got terrific British pub food. And as I say, it's in the suburbs. It's about as far away from hip Soho as you can get.

(Well, not really. I could go way the hell out of town, but I had to be practical.)

As well, usually when I'm in London I take cabs everywhere. A cab to and from the airport, cabs to and from business meetings, cabs back to the hotel.

This time when I landed at Heathrow, instead of blindly heading straight for the cab stand, I found the tube. The subway.

I bought what's called an Oyster card, which is an electronic travel card for use on the tube and buses. I put £25 credit on it for three days traveling around London.

The cab fare from London to Hazlitts in Soho used to cost me close to £75. This time the tube to the pub in Wandsworth cost me £3.80.

I have been traveling the last couple of days around London, from meeting to meeting, using the underground. I will leave London with about £8 credit remaining on my Oyster, which I can reclaim at Gatwick.

Before the Camino, I would never have considered doing a business trip this way.

In one of the meetings – a very important one with the head of a very prestigious sales company whom I'd never met before – the bloke asked me where I was staying, and I told him. He looked at me, mystified. He said: Wandsworth? Why?

I told him I wanted to do things differently. I was tired of doing the same things the same way. Staying in the same place, eating at the same restaurants, going to the same coffee shops. I wanted to have new experiences.

He said: Yes, okay – but there is a very nice pub in Knightsbridge. I put my eccentric actors there all the time. It is very good food, and the rooms are very beautiful.

I explained that I wanted to see a different side of London. Not the Harrods London, the Tesco London. I think I totally confused him. I didn't care.

And here's the thing post Camino – I don't care about impressing anyone anymore. I don't care what people think of me. They can judge me on my work – what I've done, and what I can do in the future. If they wish to judge me on what hotel I stay in, then more the fool them.

Perhaps the biggest change in me this trip though has not been cab vs tube, fancy hotel vs local pub, big suitcase vs hand luggage – it's been internal.

On previous trips I set myself very definite goals, and sought very particular outcomes. This time I didn't. I've approached this trip the way I approached my Camino – trusting that my PGS will guide me the right way to my highest good.

On my Camino I would lob Into a town and allow my PGS to guide me to the best place for me to sleep that night. And it always did. This time I lobbed into London and allowed my PGS to determine what was best for me this trip.

What it meant was this – I went into each business meeting totally relaxed. Because I didn't want anything from it. I trusted that my PGS would guide me to what was best for me.

If the financier I had lunch with today (in Gordon Ramsay's restaurant in the Savoy) wants to put $7m into my movie, and if that's the best thing for the film and for me, then it will happen. And I don't need to worry.

If my PGS determines that it's best I don't have that financing, then it won't happen.

Either way, I'm sweet. So why worry?

It's the first high level financing meeting I've done in my time as an independent producer where I've gone in completely at ease, not wanting anything other than to have a nice lunch with an interesting person.

I'd let go the rope.

And you know what happened?

The financier kept on wanting to talk about financing the picture. Without any effort or prompting from me. She was the one who kept talking about the timing of contracts, and if the film would be ready for the Venice Film Festival etc.

I just sat back and enjoyed the foie gras.

Will the financing happen? Who knows. I don't care. Because only the right thing will happen. I know that as certainly as when I walked into Hontanas late that afternoon and found a bed for the night.

I love my new life!!

I thought it was high time that I stated clearly what the Rules & Regulations are for this blog.

I do this because a sometime contributor, Clare, posted a comment in which she said this: There is a lot of self-congratulation about this being a “safe” place. I don’t know what that means. It is only safe if you toe the line, and it is a continuing struggle to see the line. All social groups are like that, so it is OK, but don’t go on about it being “safe.”

Okay. So now it’s time to lay down the Rules & Regulations:

1. Thou shalt have respect for one another – their opinions, points of view, and use of smilies.
2. Though shalt refrain from criticising, abusing or in any way disparaging anyone else, including but not limited to Rachael, Peter, Brendan, and Clare herself. Exceptions to this rule include anyone who hasn’t started their Camino from St. Jean Pied de Port.
3. Thou shalt refrain from the use of foul or offensive language, particularly in relation to matters regarding the Sydney Swans or the Australian Cricket team. Exceptions to this rule include references to the Collingwood Football Club, the Poms (but only during The Ashes) and anyone who resides in Melbourne.
4. Thou shalt identify thyself – which means NO SUNGLASSES IN YOUR GRAVATAR pic!
5. Thou shalt not use this blog for any blatant or crass commercial or advertising purposes. Exceptions to this rule include Bill Bennett’s Portuguese Camino Tour (hurry pilgrims, only a few places left!) and Bill Bennett’s book, The Way, My Way – a truly FABULOUS read, now out on Kindle and iBooks. (links can be found on this blog! Only $5.79!! It makes a GREAT Christmas present!!)
6. Thou shalt not engage in any conversations of an overtly sexual or erotic nature. SO BE VERY CAREFUL OF THE USE OF THE WORD “LOVE.”
7. Thou shalt not overly use CAPITALISATIONS or italics. (NO EXCEPTIONS!)
8. Thou shalt toe the PGS The Way Line. You will be informed in due course as to where that line starts and finishes. In the meantime, BEHAVE. (Ooops, forgot Rule # 7!)
9. Thou shall keep this blog a Safe Place. A definition of “Safe Place” will be posted in due course, once Bill Bennett works out what it actually means. In the meantime, anyone found flagrantly making this blog an UN-safe place will have their offending comment or comments deleted for a minimum of thirty minutes, and then reinstated in a separate post for general discussion.
10. Lastly, and most importantly: Thou shall not laugh at burning dwarfs!

These are the PGS The Way Ten Commandments.

Anyone who disobeys them will be required to write a Guest Post.

Signed,

Bill Bennett,
Author of THE WAY, MY WAY
Tour Leader, PGS Pilgrim Tours.

Rachael has been a regular on this blog from very early on.

She and I have jousted on several occasions. I have always respected her point of view, even though at times I have not agreed with it. We’ve sometimes had very vigorous and spirited debates, and I’ve enjoyed that.

She’s kept me honest…

🙂

I asked her to do a guest post – and for her to choose any topic she wished. So here’s what she’s written –

GUEST POST – RACHAEL AYRES

In my real life I have a reputation for being strongly principled, but often the last to enter a conversation and usually somewhat tentatively.
On this here blog the strongly principled becomes “opinionated” and the tentative nature of my discourse is lost – if you say *anything* it is (sometimes) understood to be “forcing your opinion on others.”

My real life friends expressed bewilderment when I revealed this online persona! This is the only online place (either blog or forum) that I experience being the stirrer.

I wondered why (mostly because it does not sit well with who I really am, but also because it intrigues me that I can have ended up with a reputation in this place so different to anywhere else I “hang out”).


I think it’s a) partly the nature of online communication (short, without gesture or facial expression or audible tone, and somewhat surface – I don’t mean that deep and real things are not shared here, because that clearly would be wrong – it’s more as opposed to the early American politicians who would debate for hours at a time, or even the preachers who held their audiences captive for over two hours –Neil Postman provides an interesting discussion on how the medium itself restricts or allows a particular depth of dialogue to occur)….and it’s b) mostly because I hold ideas that are different to the majority here.

But that’s not what my guest post is about!

When Bill invited me to share, I wanted to say yes as a participant of this community. Having only walked 300km, I don’t feel “expert” in things Camino, but I wondered if there was some part of my experience that might encourage this community. And there was my word. Community.

Very often, people insist that a camino is a personal thing (and it is) and it must be done your own way (and it can be) and it’s not about others (I struggle to agree with that). My feeling is that we live in a very individualistic society and rather under-value each other, the concept of community, of togetherness, of reliance on anything/anyone apart from ourselves.

This is one area of life that my husband and I decided to be intentionally counter-cultural about. Although we live in suburbia, we wanted to create community around us – we got to know our neighbours and made an effort to serve them (whether it’s feeding their cats when they go away on holiday or sharing a cup of sugar when someone runs out or looking after each others’ kids or lending a trailer so not everyone needs to own one).

We try to serve those beyond our immediate neighbourhood too – having the old lady in her eighties who lived in India for forty years over for a meal or taking her a one-person portion from our dinner….. inviting a lady recently widowed to come to the Christmas Carols in the Town Hall with our family…. having Grandpa over for dinner every night…. offering respite for a friend who is a foster carer…. inviting others to join our family holidays… running a couple of organic food co-ops so that people can afford to buy healthy food…..

These are little things, but they say to our kids, “Life’s not about us, we were made to live in community with others, we are not to just look out for ourselves.”

And so perhaps it is no surprise that we took those sentiments on our camino too. Inviting Grandpa was an honour and a blessing to us. Walking with little kids and teenagers who are supposed to not get along with adults was a treasure.

Did we experience conflict? Yes. It took us a couple of days to realise that Grandpa needed to be walking at the front of the group in order to feel like he was not falling behind – and so then we made sure that is where he stayed. Small people sometimes had their moments, but we were able to offer them encouragement and assistance.

I always would have been more comfortable walking a bit faster than we were, but we were in this together and I happily adjusted my wishes to suit the weakest members of the group.

We met people who had split from their partners because they could not – or I humbly suggest *would* not – make any changes that would inconvenience them as individuals. I am not saying it is wrong to reach such a conclusion, but I do think that not having that as an option gave us a greater understanding of each other and meant that we ended up creating shared memories.

Of course we did not walk constantly in perfect formation – our group stretched out and “rubber banded” back together – we made sure that the last person to reach a rest stop was the one to determine when the rest was over….these are little considerations that can be helpful when walking as a group.

Some of you will be walking with Bill’s tour next year. Again, I do not expect you will all walk together all the time, but as you are travelling as a group, I would encourage you to live community along the way and be sensitive to each other. It might inconvenience you, but I can assure you it will make for a richer store of memories for you all.

I’m just about to head off on a three week trip overseas –

And I’m just taking carry-on!

Usually on a business trip like this, I’d take a check-in suitcase that would weigh a minimum of 24kgs, and then I’d have my carry-on as well, which would normally weigh another 10kgs or so – packed with laptop and photographic gear and books etc.

The Camino has taught me that I don’t need so much STUFF. And here is a practical example – heading off into cold weather for 3wks, with my laptop and camera gear – and still I’ve managed to get everything into a small carry-on bag.

I’m not just shedding practical material stuff I don’t need though, I’m also heading off having just shed some fairly major emotional stuff I don’t need too.

So I head off feeling light.

Thank you once again, Camino de Santiago!

Only one day now before Jennifer and I set off on our three week trip – first to London, then to Porto to follow the Camino through to Santiago, then we’re flying to Bavaria for a few days before returning to Australia.

I’l be blogging during the trip – and also contributing to my food/travel blog – http://www.billsroadfood.com

Donna has now joined our tour – which is fantastic! It will be her first Camino. We’re as thrilled as she is.

This afternoon, I donned my brace and went for a 6km walk. It was late in the afternoon, the air was coolish, and I felt great. It was so wonderful to be walking briskly. And unusually for me I listened to a song. Here are the lyrics of that song…

When I was young and they packed me off to school

and taught me how not to play the game,

I didn’t mind if they groomed me for success,

or if they said that I was a fool.

So I left there in the morning

with their God tucked underneath my arm —

their half-assed smiles and the book of rules.

So I asked this God a question

and by way of firm reply,

He said — I’m not the kind you have to wind up on Sundays.

So to my old headmaster (and to anyone who cares):

before I’m through I’d like to say my prayers —

I don’t believe you:

you had the whole damn thing all wrong —

He’s not the kind you have to wind up on Sundays.

Well you can excomunicate me on my way to Sunday school

and have all the bishops harmonize these lines —

how do you dare tell me that I’m my Father’s son

when that was just an accident of Birth.

I’d rather look around me — compose a better song

`cos that’s the honest measure of my worth.

In your pomp and all your glory you’re a poorer man than me,

as you lick the boots of death born out of fear.

I don’t believe you:

you had the whole damn thing all wrong —

He’s not the kind you have to wind up on Sundays.

(Wind up – Jethro Tull)

My sister Anne is five years older than me. She’s the eldest in the family, I’m the second eldest.

For as long as I can remember, we’ve always fought.

Don’t ask me why – we just have.

You’d think that as we got older, we’d have grown out of it. We would have mellowed. But no – if anything, our animosity towards each other only deepened.

It came to a head a couple of years ago, during the massive floods that swamped Brisbane. I was in India at the time, and I didn’t get in touch with her, not knowing she had a rental property that was under threat.

She thought I was uncaring. I thought she was hysterical. It opened up old wounds that went back thirty or forty years. Fifty years probably.

We made our peace, kind of, but there was still a residue of acrimony. Something that sat deep within both of us. Something that wouldn’t be shifted with easy apologies and kissy kissy make-ups. I felt we’d both probably take our enmity to our graves.

And then I walked the Camino.
And my sister began reading my blog.
And something quite miraculous happened –
We became friends.

All the anger and bitterness that we’d both harboured towards each other dissolved. It just disappeared. She saw another side of me, and I realised it was meaningless to hang onto old energies that were hurtful to both of us.

Then she read my book, and it only amplified her feelings towards me. She saw how the Camino had whittled me down to a half decent human being.

Anne wrote me a lovely email yesterday, congratulating me on the book, and saying some things that I thought could make for a very poignant post on this blog.

So Anne, sister, big sister –

I’m sorry,
I love you,
Please forgive me,
Thank you.

Anne Taylor’s Guest Post

Hi Bill,

Congratulations on your wonderful Camino blogs and your book. 

Reading them all, I felt that I got to know the person I grew up with, but yet never really knew at the time.  We both know that there were tensions between us, but I don’t wish to talk about the past. 

Instead, I’d like to express my gratitude for what you have done for me – and us – by walking the Camino and revealing the changes in you as you progressed. 

As you gradually displayed your new, softer, kinder self and your new humility I realised that here was a person I’d really like to know and spend time with. 

As you cast off your old layers (you know the ones!), so did I.   Your book and blogs made me laugh aloud on almost every page (it was very funny), marvel at your tenacity and shed tears towards the end as I saw how deeply you cared about your fellow-pilgrims. 

The symbolism of the towel was extremely moving.  The Meseta section in particular really resonated with me, because that’s where I experienced the death of my old attitudes towards you.

Your journey has had a profound flow-on effect on me, and then you, that neither of us would ever have dreamed would happen.  It was totally out of left-field!  I call it a magical effect: 

I’ve connected with my brother after all these years.  So thank you Bill, and thank you Camino.

With Sincere Love,
Your sister,
Anne 

As many of you know, Arlene – who is a regular on this blog – recently returned from her second Camino. It was a deeply moving experience for her.

Here she shares those experiences with us…

CAMINO DE SANTIAGO 2013

I dedicated this, my 2013 Camino to my deceased husband, Peter, the father of my children.  Pete died far too young, he was only 46 years old when he was taken from this world. 

Prior to his death, we had been going through some difficult times, our relationship was very strained. We were barely speaking to each other; in fact it seems our only words were angry, cross, and defensive.

Then he was taken. There were no more angry words, there was no more bickering, there simply was NO MORE.

As you can imagine, I have carried so much guilt and regret since that day 19 years ago. I wish I had not been so stubborn, so stuck in the mire of blame. He passed before we could resolve our problems. I have felt guilty and regretted my stubbornness since that day. He passed away and I never got to tell him how sorry I was and still am.

Last year when I walked the Camino, I simply walked the Camino. I didn’t have any specific reason or purpose, this year my intention was to walk in honor of my deceased husband. To walk for his understanding and his forgiveness, to walk so I would be able to forgive myself, so I can finally stop carrying the heaviness of this guilt.

Because of my purpose this year, I chose to walk the Camino solo, alone with own thoughts.  I met others who I would chat with for a while. I did encounter most of these people repeatedly along the Way, sometimes I would walk with one or the other of them for a good part of the day, other times I would prefer to walk alone.

I stayed in hotels and casas rural to insure my solitude.  I most always am a very social person, I like being around people. But the purpose of this Camino was to make peace with events in my past and I needed to be alone to be successful in achieving my purpose.

I set my daily goals to stretch my comfortable walking distances so that I would be tired by the time I reached my destination.  I ate the menu del dia when I arrived at my destination, usually about 2 or 2:30 in the afternoon.  After eating, I returned to my room showered, got ready for the next day, wrote in my journal, blogged and then meditated until I was ready to go to sleep.

I didn’t join the other pilgrims in the evening, nor did I drink more than a glass or two of wine with the menu each day. I simply thought those activities would interfere with the purpose of my Camino.

After I had been walking for some time, actually approaching the town of Foncebadon, I broke down and cried like a baby.  I was very thankful the walk was shrouded in mist and I was alone, the other Peregrinos didn’t notice my tears.

Finally I started to release some of my guilt! Maybe my healing had begun. I left Foncebadon after a hot cup of cafe con leche and made my way to the Cruz de Ferro. At the cross I left two stones, one for me and another for Pete then climbed down the stone pile and got back in the queue to place the stones my friends had asked me to place for them.

Oddly, it was on the walk immediately after the Cruz de Ferro that my knee began to bother me. I am unsure if it had anything to do with releasing my guilt, or simply because the descent was extremely challenging. I suppose I will never know.

I continued on my way to Santiago, sometimes crying, sometimes smiling and sometimes laughing while I relived my life with Pete.  It seemed to me the Camino was working its magic, I was beginning to let go of my guilt.

By the time I reached Galicia, the rainy weather had all of my attention. It was very hard walking in the rain, I was continuously struggling to get my poncho on and off and the gators were bothering my legs. My knee was also hurting all the time now.

Finally I walked into the square in front of the Cathedral in Santiago de Compostela and broke down sobbing. Thankfully right in front of me stood a fellow from England I had walked and talked with on several occasions. He hugged me as I wept, when I looked up, he was weeping too.

We both cried for a while and then walked to the Pilgrim’s Office together for our Compostela.  I understand arrival at the Cathedral has different effects on individuals. For me it was unbelievably emotional.

At the Pilgrim’s Office, I explained to the representative I had walked in honor of my deceased husband and received my Compostela in my name “Vicarie Pro” my husband’s name. 

The next day at the Pilgrim’s Mass, I again experienced the uncontrollable crying I had when I entered Santiago de Compostela. I’m sure I wasn’t the only pilgrim crying though. 

All of my tears and the Camino de Santiago have helped me release the anger and guilt I had related to my husband’s death. I believe I achieved the result I was hoping to attain by walking the Camino and would walk another Camino in a “New York Minute”.

The Camino may not be for everybody. It may not help solve everyone’s problems. But I do believe it gives time to pray and contemplate. It strips unnecessary items from you and reduces your needs to the most elemental – food, water, and a bed to sleep in.

The most important thing the Camino gave to me in 2013 was time to reflect and clear the slate.

¡Ultreia y Vaya con Dios!

My friend Vida Sobott, who is a very unusual and talented lady, posted this on her Facebook page overnight.

I had to share it with you here… As a bit of fun…

A man decides to end his life.

As a train approaches he throws himself off the platform onto the tracks.

Just at that moment, someone in one of the carriages mistakenly pulls the emergency stop lever. The train comes to an abrupt halt. Unwittingly, this person thwarted the man’s attempted suicide.

Coincidence?

A young man’s father visits from overseas. He wants to go to a koala park. The young man doesn’t want to. It’s a long drive. But the father is insistent. They have an argument. Still the father is insistent. The young man can’t understand why.

They go to the koala park, and there he meets a girl who becomes his wife, and life-long partner.

Coincidence?

Anthony Hopkins, the actor, commits to a role in a film based on a book – The Girl from Petrovka. But the book is out of print. He goes to several bookstores in London, and can’t find a copy.

Dispirited, he goes to Leicester Square tube station to get a train home. He sits on a bench and there beside him is a discarded book. It’s The Girl from Petrovka.

Later, on the set of the movie in Vienna he meet’s the book’s author. He tells the writer of the coincidence.

The writer informs him that he lent his book to a friend in London. They check the book that Hopkins picked up off the bench, and inside are the writer’s handwritten annotations. It’s the same book the author lent to his friend.

Coincidence?

These are incidents detailed in a feature article published last weekend in The Weekend Australian Magazine. There’s an interesting quote in the article: Coincidence is God’s way of staying anonymous.

It’s a cliche now: There are no coincidences. But if not, then what is it?

I say it’s PGS. I believe that young man’s father had a strong intuitive impulse to go to the koala park, perhaps not knowing why, certainly not anticipating the outcome – that his son would meet his future wife.

Anthony Hopkins and the book? Same thing. I would say it was his PGS directed him to that bench in that tube station. And it was PGS at work which made the previous owner of the book leave it on that bench for Hopkins to pick up.

Why didn’t someone else pick it up? Why didn’t Hopkins get a taxi, or go to another tube station? What are we talking about here? What’s at work here?

Last week while I was working up at my university, out of the blue a professor handed me a book to read. The book was on synchronicity. At the time I was completely flummoxed as to why he would lend it to me. We hadn’t been talking about synchronicity. And this was the first book he’d ever lent me. But he wanted me to read it.

Here is the magazine article, if you’re interested. It makes fascinating reading –

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/features/six-degrees-of-separation/story-e6frg8h6-1226745955381