Shortly after beginning this experiment, I posted on this blog that I didn’t care what people thought of me.
A friend of mine, Steve, (who has strangely disappeared from this blog lately) commented that he didn’t believe me. He thought that I did care what people thought. And I told him emphatically that I didn’t.
I was speaking from the perspective of vanity. What I look like. Because Steve cares a lot about his looks. He’s a champion bodybuilder. I’d just posted a silly shot of me wearing a cosmic ray reflective collar, and I thought Steve was commenting on my appearance. So my response to him at the time was true – I didn’t, and I don’t, care what people think of what I look like. My appearance.
But from the perspective of personal and professional reputation – who I am as against what I look like – then yes, I do very much care what people think of me. From that point of view Steve was right.
Within the film industry I would like to think that I have a solid reputation. Not everyone is going to like every film I’ve ever made, but I would hope that over nearly forty years of professional life I’ve earned a reputation of being someone who is diligent, who has integrity, and who cares about humanity. Irrespective of any commercial or artistic success or failure, I hope I’ve achieved a reputation for being an honest craftsman who works hard and cares about others.
I could very easily blow that reputation in fifteen days in Dallas.
I have not been honest with you here in these past postings to protect my reputation. I have often times withheld my true feelings, my true beliefs.
The film industry judges harshly.
For a start, humility within the film industry is deemed a weakness. The film industry works on hype, on spin, on everyone telling everyone else how good they are.
If you walk into a room full of studio execs or financiers or distributors or producers, and you’re humble, they’ll think you’re a pussy. You’ll get nowhere. They prefer bombast. A dog-and-pony show. They prefer touts and spruikers. They like you to be loud and brash.
I refuse to play that game.
The Camino humbled me. Ever since, I’ve tried every day to be humble. And I’ve carried with me the perhaps naive belief that I will be judged ultimately on my past work, and my present actions. So I don’t talk myself up. If others want to talk me up, then that’s okay, but I won’t.
The film industry is also very suspicious of what I’ll call “woo woo.” Spiritual, religious, or supernatural beliefs. It seems contradictory that for those power-brokers and decision-makers who work in the dream factory, which is what Hollywood is sometimes called, they should be so earth-bound. So resistant to the etheric. So dismissive of those who hold beliefs that are innately spiritual.
Those Hollywood big-guns who at a cocktail party might scoff at anyone who professes to believe in angels, will next day greenlight a $150m movie about comic book heroes with supernatural powers. Or a pilot that takes a spacecraft into other dimensions. Or a young girl who falls in love with a vampire. They feel safe in calling it fantasy.
Within the film industry it’s dangerous to publicly express beliefs that are outside the norm.
I will state now that I’ve been deeply affected by what’s happened over this past eleven days. Even though at times on this blog I might have come across as being jocular or sceptical or an intransigent disbeliever, I have at times been profoundly overwhelmed by what’s happened, and what I’ve been told.
How could I not be? Because think about it – what I’ve been told:
- That I have a message to give to the world.
- That the message will have a major beneficial impact on the world.
- That as a consequence I will acquire immense wealth.
- That I will use that money for the betterment of mankind.
- That I will be afforded universal respect and admiration for what I’m doing.
- That I will be treated like a King.
I now have two esteemed Vedic astrologers from opposite ends of the earth – one from the East and one from the West – both telling me that this is going to happen. They have no doubt.
Okay, so let me ask you: if you were in my shoes and you were told this stuff, how would you respond? Would you believe it? And if so, then what would you do? Or would you blithely dismiss it and assign it to the bin full of odd and crazy things that have happened in your life, then think nothing more about it?
You see, I believe it. I believe it unconditionally. Without reservation. I believe that what they’ve predicted is going to happen.
- I believe that I have a message to give to the world.
- I believe that message will be of great benefit to humanity.
- I believe that it’s going to make me a lot of money.
- I know that if I make a lot of money, then I’ll use it to do more good work.
- I suppose that if all that happens, then I’ll be respected.
In the spirit of full disclosure, let me tell you what else I believe.
- I believe in divine guidance.
- I believe in an all encompassing, all pervasive force of pure unimaginable love that some would call God.
- I believe in destiny
- I believe in free will
- I believe in reincarnation
- I believe that children choose their parents
- I believe that we’re each born into this earthly realm to achieve certain things and learn certain lessons.
- I believe in the subtle body
- I believe we each have a soul
- I believe that our soul is everlasting
- I believe that our soul is always constantly seeking a higher plane.
- I don’t believe in death
- I don’t believe in religion
- I don’t believe in evil
- But I do believe in ignorance, which spawns fear and hate
- I believe in divine messengers
- I believe we are each given signs, constantly, to help direct us along our path.
- I believe in a Higher Self, or Selves
- I believe in miracles
- I believe that ultimately, the only thing that truly matters is love.
That’s what I believe. Some of what I believe.
And I still have so much to learn.
I have filmed over thirty interviews in India, Italy and now the US, with some of the wisest and most learned spiritualists, theologians, scholars, religious leaders, philosophers, and even a living Saint. And they’ve all told me the same thing – that the voice I heard in the car that saved my life was a divine intervention. And that my life was saved because of past good karma. They tell me my life was saved for a purpose. And it’s now up to me to fulfil that purpose.
Most of these eminent people agreed to an interview because they saw that in telling a personal story, I was in fact telling a universal story that could reach millions, and could help raise human consciousness and awareness.
That’s what I want to do. I just want to get on and make my film, and get it out there. That’s my purpose.
So in the interest of full disclosure, those are my beliefs, and that is what I want to do.
I don’t care what you think of me…