A good friend just told me something that I really have to think about.
She said I can’t be scared. I have to go on.
This is no longer my story, it is her story, their story, your story.
She said this is no longer about me.
She said this with a hint of steel in her voice.
She said I am already leading people.
Taking them out of their ordinary lives.
Giving people hope, inspiration.
I didn’t know I was doing that.
I told her I was just putting one foot in front of the other each day.
it never occurred to me while I was talking to her, but that’s how I walked the Camino.
By not thinking about the destination. It was too far away to even contemplate.
I just walked, by concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other, trying always not to trip or slip, trying to stay on two feet.
To keep going.
That’s what my friend this morning told me to do.
To keep going.
I can’t think about you. If I’m having any impact on your lives.
That would bring in ego, and wrong intentions.
I can’t follow this crazy hazy path for you.
I have to do it for me.
Jennifer in her message to me said, in capitals for emphasis:
THERE’S NO GOING BACK.
I guess that’s true. I’ve passed beyond that point.
This morning the advice from my friend was timely. I needed that encouragement.
I’ve been feeling despondent.
But her words perked me up.
The possibility that others might get something positive from what I’m doing.
That would be cool.
But I have to do this for me, not you.
Right at this moment.
Later it will be for you.
When I know what’s going on.
At the moment I don’t.
I’m just trusting.
That’s all I can do.
I hope you understand