Perspective changes everything ~

I’m currently reading a Sci-Fi trilogy called Three Body Problem, written by Chinese author Cixin Liu. The series is called Remembrance of Earth’s Past. The Netflix series starts on March 21st.

The trilogy has been hugely popular worldwide – the first book won the Hugo Award for Best Sci-Fi or Fantasy novel. I’m now partway through the third book, Death’s End. I was hoping to have read all three books by the time the series started, but I won’t finish this final 600+ page book in time.

These books are dense and complex, and huge in their ideas. I haven’t read anything like them. And what makes them so fascinating is that there is really no central character – the books are about humanity.

Civilisations.

This is not a spoiler – but one of the premises is: How would humanity respond if it knew it was going to be destroyed by an alien force in four hundred years?

Four hundred years.

In reading these books, what I’ve discovered is that perspective changes everything.
Time changes everything.
Distance – space – changes everything.

When you’re immediate and up front and personal, you have a different perspective to if you’re on another planet, for instance, and you’re dealing with something that’s not only light-years away, but millennia away.

I find these fascinating concepts.

And the reason I’m putting this in a blog is that in reading these books, I remember someone once telling me that they had an out of body experience where Lao Tzu came to this person and took her by the hand and took her out of her house, up, up, out of her street, up, up, out of her suburb, up, up, further up, out of her city, and then out into space so that she could look down on the planet, Planet Earth, and see her life, her problems, her dramas, from this cosmic perspective.

And Lao Tzu said to her: See? All your troubles and dramas don’t really matter when you see them from this perspective.

I’ve been remembering that while I read these books. Because goodness knows we have problems in the world right now – as indeed we always have. And yet seen from the Lao Tzu cosmic perspective, they’re really quite insignificant.

Now I know a lot of you are going pile on top of me and say: How’s what’s happening in Gaza insignificant? How’s what’s happening in Ukraine insignificant? How’s what’s happening with the coming US elections insignificant?

What I’m talking about – and I’ve had blowback from this before – is trying to find a perspective of neutrality. That’s what I aspire to – neutrality. Non-attachment, if you like.

There’s a new film opening in the US next month. It’s called Civil War, and it’s made by an acclaimed British filmmaker, Alex Garland. It’s just premiered at the SXSW Festival, and caused a stir. A good stir. Some have called it a masterpiece. It’s set in a near-dystopian future in which the US has broken out in civil war.

In a press conference after the screening, the filmmaker said: Why are we talking and not listening? Why are we shutting conversation down? Left and Right are ideological arguments, that’s all they are. They’re not right or wrong. They’re not good or bad. We have reached a point where we vilify the other side, we’ve ratcheted up the rhetoric into an ethical debate which makes it easier to see the other side as evil – and once someone is seen as morally wrong, as evil, then their opponents can justify all sorts of extreme measures to stop them.

Step up and away, is what I’m saying.
With perspective, you can see that ultimately it really doesn’t matter.
You think it does, you believe passionately it does, but with the cosmic perspective of Lao Tzu, it’s all really insignificant.

Your Highwater Mark

I want to write about something that’s fascinated me for some time –
What I call a person’s Highwater Mark.

What’s a person’s Highwater Mark?
It’s the zenith of their life’s achievement.
It’s the point beyond which they never reach.

Most of us achieve our Highwater Mark in our 40s.
Some earlier, some later.

What’s my Highwater Mark?
Making small personal films and writing novels.

George Miller’s Highwater Mark is making big spectacular action movies.
Bill Gates’s Highwater Mark is creating Microsoft.
Volodymyr Zelensky’s Highwater Mark is being President of Ukraine.
Paul Selig’s Highwater Mark is channeling books.
Nicole Kidman’s Highwater Mark is being an A-List actress.

A person’s Highwater Mark has nothing to do with success.
Success comes and goes.
It has nothing to do with achieving more.
Most of us normally achieve more within the limitations of our Highwater Mark.

George Miller will no doubt make more big budget action movies.
Bill Gates will continue with his philanthropic work.
Zelensky will always be defined by being President of Ukraine.
Paul Selig will continue to channel books, and he most probably will do other things too, but his channelled work will be his Highwater Mark.
Same with Nicole Kidman. Her Highwater Mark will be her status as an extraordinary actress.

Me? I’m still lapping at my Highwater Mark but I doubt that I’ll push further up the beach. It’s not like I’m going to direct a Marvel movie.

A person’s Highwater Mark is that place on the beach where the Spring Tide reaches. Subsequent tides won’t ever reach that far.

We each inevitably find the Highwater Mark in our lives, most of us without ever realising it.
This is as far as we’re ever going to go.
It’s this far and no further.

And as we get older, we normally recede from our Highwater Mark. Very few of us take our Highwater Mark further up the beach.

But it’s possible.
It’s possible to unlock further potential within us.
But first we have to acknowledge that we have that potential.

As we get older, we get tired.
Or worse still, complacent.
Or even worse still, we get damaged.
Damaged by the vicissitudes of life.
We don’t seek to over-reach.
We live too much in the past.

But it’s possible to establish a new Highwater Mark.
To unlock that unlimited potential.
We just dream bigger dreams.
Further up the beach…


Oscar predictions 2024

Each year, as many of you who follow this blog might know, I make my Oscar predictions. I’m normally pretty good, with a strike rate usually in the mid 90% range.

Living in Mudgee as I do, where there is no cinema, it’s difficult getting to see movies. And for a good deal of 2023 I was overseas, shooting my own movie – The Way, My Way.

That said, I have seen a good many – and I read the trades each day – The Hollywood Reporter, Deadline Hollywood, IndieWire, Variety, Screen Daily – enough to keep on top of things.

There are some totally outrageous films in the Oscar short list this year. They are:

  • Barbie
  • Poor Things
  • Saltburn
  • Zone of Interest

Now, I walked out of Poor Things after about thirty minutes. I thought it was pretentious. I wasn’t engaged at all with any of the characters. I acknowledged that Emma Stone was working her chops off for an Oscar, which she most probably will win, and I was in awe of the production design etc – but the story didn’t hold me, nor did I find any of the characters in any way relatable. It was just a highly talented filmmaker strutting his stuff… and that’s not enough to keep me in a cinema.

Barbie I thought was outrageous in a good way. I was engaged from the get-go, I thought it said some important and profound things about gender politics and male toxicity, and the style and direction of the film was totally original. And the script was amazing.

I was shocked when Greta Gerwig missed out on a Best Director nomination, equally Margot Robbie for Best Actress. That staggered me.

Saltburn I also loved, again for its boldness. Once again, a totally outrageous film that smacked you in the face constantly with its bracing storytelling and images.

And then there’s The Zone of Interest, Jonathan Glazer’s supremely clever take on Auschwitz. An exquisite use of cinema. Use of sound, use of nuance, use of restraint. For me, hands down, the best film of the year. Along with Anatomy of a Fall – both starring Sandra Hüller, giving extraordinary performances in each film. A tie for me for best film.

Coming close behind is American Fiction – a beautiful performance by Jeffrey Wright, and a very smart script.

I saw Christopher Nolan’s Oppenheimer on its opening day. I was utterly underwhelmed. It’s not that I hated the film, I just thought Nolan could have done so much better. I was expecting cinema – instead I got talking heads most of the time.

Why shoot on 70mm film?

And for me, the four act structure didn’t work at all. The film ended with the detonation, which by the way was exceptional cinema. But the 40 mins or so after that was just an all-too-obvious Oscar grab for Robert Downey Jr – who was amazing and will no doubt get the Oscar – but it didn’t serve the film. Which was way too long. But hey, it’s made over $1b at the box office and will snag all the major Academy Awards this year – so what do I know?

Talking about super long films – Killers of the Flower Moon really tested the bladder. Said to be Scorsese’s “masterpiece” by Spielberg, it doesn’t come close to Raging Bull. Not by a mile.

Back to the Oscars.
Okay, so here are my predictions. This is my list:

Best Picture
Oppenheimer

Best Director
Christopher Nolan

Best Actor
Cillian Murphy

Best Actress
Emma Stone

Best Supporting Actor
Robert Downey Jr

Best Supporting Actress
America Ferrera

Best Original Screenplay
Anatomy of a Fall

Best Adapted Screenplay
Oppenheimer

Best International Film
The Zone of Interest

Best Cinematography
Oppenheimer

Best Film Editing
Oppenheimer

Best Sound:
Oppenheimer

Best Production Design
Barbie

Visual Effects
The Creator

Original Score
Poor Things

Original Song
Barbie

Best Costume Design
Barbie

Best Makeup & Hair
Maestro

Best Documentary
Bobi Wine

Best Animated Feature
The Boy and the Heron

So on Sunday night US time, Monday late morning Australian time, we’ll know the results. We’ll find out whether the film that underwhelmed me the most gets the majority of gongs, or whether some of these very brave and outrageous films snag a few.

All up, 2023 was a really good year for bold cinema.

The Way, My Way – Q&As

You’ll notice a new look to the blog – I’m using the key art from the film – the poster artwork, which is interim artwork until a distributor comes on board – but more on that later… oh and by the way, I notice from the analytics that this blog has been getting a lot of traffic recently, so I’m going to eat my bran and be more regular, I promise!

Firstly, there’s been a lot of interest in the film lately so I thought I would use my blog to update you all on what’s really happening, as against what’s purported to be happening.

QUESTION: What stage is the film at right now?

The film is now at fine cut stage. What that means is that after nearly six months of editing, we have locked off the picture cut. It´s running time is 103 mins, without end credits. I’m finally happy with the cut – at least, I’m happy enough – for if truth be told, I could spend another twelve months or more in the editing room fine fine tuning with Rishi Shukla, my trusted editor, but to what end? At some point I have to let go of my baby.

QUESTION: What happens next?

The next stage is sound post-production, which is probably even more complex than picture post production.

Fortunately I have the best sound team in the country, and indeed one of the best in the world in Wayne Pashley and Libby Pashley and their team at Big Bang Sound. They were Oscar nominated last year for their work on Baz Luhrmann´s Elvis. Their previous credits include Mad Max Fury Road, the Babe movies and Happy Feet for George Miller.

Wayne and Lib have done all my movies since Kiss or Kill in 1996, for which they won the AFI Award for Best Sound.

Sound post will take us up to next February, So the film won’t be completed until end of Feb earliest.

QUESTION: What’s happening with distribution?

Now that the film is in sufficient shape to show distributors, we’re beginning to have screenings. We’ve already had interest from one major distributor here in Australia, and we’re hoping that an offer might be forthcoming.

Once we have an Australian distributor locked in we´ll then seek a foreign sales agent. This has to be done linearly, step by step. I’ve been producing movies now for forty years and I know my way around distribution and exhibition enough to know that you can’t rush these things.

I’ve brought on veteran distributor Richard Becker to act as consultant in these matters. Richard is retired now, but he’s been a huge fan of this movie right from the getgo, and he’s providing invaluable advice. Distribution and marketing is a minefield, and even someone with my experience needs someone like Richard to guide the film through this minefield.

QUESTION: When am I going to be able to see it? And where?

That’s the key question, and the answer is I don’t know, and the decision isn’t mine anyway – it will not even be the distributor´s decision most likely – it will be the exhibitors´. They’re the ones that call the shots. If a distributor can’t get the screens, then they can’t release the movie.

If everything falls into place, then I’m hoping – and I emphasise the word hoping – that the film will be in cinemas in Australia in the first half of 2024, and internationally sometime after that.

Streaming then will follow – and as for the timing on that, it will depend on the distributors, because they’ll most probably hold those rights.

But you know, there’s another scenario:

The film gets invited into Official Selection at the Cannes Film Festival, the film gets a ten minute standing ovation in the Palais, after the screening there’s a bidding war between Netflix, Amazon, A24 and a bunch of others, Netflix offers us US$20m and it takes us all of five seconds to accept their offer, they give the film a short theatrical release to qualify for the Oscars, then a quick window to streaming – meanwhile the film goes on to take out Oscars for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor and Best Screenplay – I accept the three Oscars with practiced humility, the film then gets another run in the cinemas, and I´m then signed by Warner Bros to direct a Marvel spinoff movie for a directing fee of $7.5m with 5% from dollar one.

I like that scenario.

haha

The reality is that first we have to finish the movie then we have to get distribution then we have to market the film very carefully. I’ve seen too many good films fall through the cracks to be complacent about all this stuff. It´s a delicate and complex process making a movie – it´s even more delicate and complex selling it.

If you have anymore questions contact me at: CaminoFilmProds@gmail.com

Oh and by the way, I am going to be blogging more regularly so please follow me here to ensure that you get these incredibly witty and insightful missives.

Now the fun starts…

After five weeks of filming in Spain then a few days filming in Mudgee, Australia, we’ve now completed Principal Photography for my Camino film, The Way, My Way – based on my memoir of the same title.

Now the fun starts.

Everything comes down to editing. All the decisions you make as a director on location are based on how it´s all going to cut together in the editing room.

Given the way this film was shot, the editing process will be even more crucial than normal.

As per my style in such films as Kiss or Kill, Malpractice, Tempted, or Backlash – this is a film that has a high degree of improvisation. This was necessary for when we came to shoot with the “actuals” – the actual pilgrims that I met and walked with on my original Camino ten years ago.

They’ve come back to play themselves in the movie.

Their involvement dictated a certain style of performance from the actors, but also it influenced the shooting and hence the editing style. The actuals were real, they were authentic, so the surrounding performances had to match their verisimilitude pitch-perfectly. A more formal, “dramatic” visual style would have been totally out of kilter with the authenticity of the actuals´ performances.

To keep the location crew size down to a minimum, I had no continuity person on set, however I had two cameras on just about everything we shot, so I know I’ve got the coverage to get me out of trouble if needs be,

Rishi Shukla is my editor. He cut the two theatrical feature documentaries I’ve done lately: PGS – Intuition is your Personal Guidance System, and Facing Fear. Editing a dramatic feature film is a whole other ballgame though. The rules are totally different, and this will be Rishi´s first movie as a feature editor. But I’ve seen his choices in the assembly so far and I know he’ll do a mighty fine job, like he’s done with everything else we’ve worked on.

I look forward to the next 12-15 weeks or so in the editing room with him.

Going back some fifty years – yes, fifty years – when I first determined that I wanted to make films, the first book I read was Karel Reisz¨s classic, The Technique of Film Editing, written in 1953.

As a young cadet journalist working for the ABC in Brisbane at the time, I would read this book in the back of the camera car as we went out each day to cover news stories. I also read Film Sense, by Sergei Eisenstein.

I read these two books over and over.

Everyone – cameramen, journos, the editors – they all thought I was a wanker. But instinctively I knew that if I wanted to learn how to make films, I had to learn editing, and both those books were the definitive works. They’re still as relevant today as they were fifty years ago.

Later, I would enroll in a three year acting course so that I could understand performance.

Editing is the key to film production.
And I’m jumping out of my skin to start!

To Make a Movie is to Go to War –

I’ve just been to war.
And it´s not over yet.

For the past five week I’ve been directing a feature film in Spain, along the Camino de Santiago. The film is called The Way, My Way, based on my Camino memoir of the same name.

I’m heading back home for a further period of shooting in Australia next week. Then comes months and months of post production. Then comes months and months of marketing and publicity.

It´s taken me nearly seven years working on this project to get to where I am right now, and probably more than forty different drafts of the script. I’ve lost count.

I’ve had constant rejections – from actors, from distributors, from financiers, from functionaries in government film offices who weren’t even born when I made my first movie.

They all, for their own reasons, said no.
For some, it was too much a risk.
For some, they didn’t believe in me.
For some, they saw me as a filmmaker that once showed talent, but that talent left the building a long time ago. Thank you and goodnight.

If this were a war and each rejection were a bullet, my body would be riddled by now. It would be lying in the mud in the trenches, a bloody mess. It would be so shredded they’d need my dog tags to identify me.

But somehow I’ve managed to pick myself up after each mortal wounding, and I’ve picked up my weapon, put my armour back on, and I’ve gone back to war, to fight yet another battle, to face further bullets, further assaults, further indignities.

What is my weapon?
My weapon is my vision.
I see the film already made.
There can be no more powerful weapon.

What is my armour?
My armour is my implaccable determination.
It´s my shield, it´s my suit of kevlar, it deflects most of the ordinance.

Most, not all.

Some of it somehow manages to get through the layers of protection I’ve built up around me over the years, over the decades of fighting, and it wounds me. It hurts, and it leaves scar tissue.

Each war, each movie, extracts its toll.
But the fight is worth it.

This latest film – my fourteenth feature film as writer/producer/director, my fifteenth as writer/director, my sixteenth as director only – was also a war, and the war will be ongoing until way after its release, sometime next year.

Who am I fighting?
My most powerful and cunning of enemies is myself.

My fears.
My willingness to compromise.
My unwillingness to compromise.
My loss of vision.
My sheer exhaustion.
My creative inadequacies.
My empathy.

To be a good film director you have to be a bastard at times.

But this is war, fuckit.

I have one chance in my life to make this film – a film that will last – and I’m going to do everything I possibly can to make it the best film it possibly can be.

I fight other enemies too.

The budget.
There’s never enough money.
The weather.
There’s never enough days of light. Beautiful light.
There’s never enough days of storm and thunder. There’s always too much ordinariness. That’s one of my biggest enemies – weather and light that’s ordinary.
Time.
There’s simply never enough time to do what I really want to do:
People.
Invariably in a war situation, people show their true colours. Some shine, some disappoint. That’s human nature.

I’m never alone when I go to war.

I’m surrounded by highly talented, highly experienced veterans, and sometimes rookies too, who share the vision and in their own highly specialised way join me in this particular battle.

For me they are a source of joy and wonderment and they save my life every day.
Every day I look around me and I quietly say thank you. Today you saved my life.

By my side is Jennifer.
She believes when I lose faith.
She takes risks when I’m too scared to.
She sees it done when my exhaustion clouds my view.
She cops the flak so that I can keep fighting.

Without her, I wouldn’t have the strength to pull myself up out of the bloodied muddy trenches and get back out there to face another day.

Making a movie is like going to war.
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.

Whatever the outcome, it´s a privilege to have the opportunity to fight for a vision that can hopefully have a positive and uplifting impact around the world.

Casting The Way, My Way – Part 2

As I said in my previous post, the casting of the film adaptation of my book, The Way, My Way, didn’t happen overnight.

I mean, how do you cast someone to play me?

I rejected Brad Pitt because he wasn’t buffed enough, I rejected George Clooney because he wasn’t suave enough, I rejected Hugh Jackman because I was concerned he couldn’t do a convincing Australian accent…

So I cast Chris Haywood.

Chris is one of Australia’s finest actors. Theatre trained, with more than one hundred Australian films under his belt, Chris was a natural choice for many reasons.

Firstly, Chris and I go back to 1984, when he played the lead, opposite Jennifer Cluff who played female lead, in my Vietnam veterans drama, A Street to Die. Chris won the Australian Film Institute Award for Best Actor for his performance, and later we worked on other films too.

Perhaps the most memorable was in my Outback noir thriller, Kiss or Kill, where he played a detective chasing down a serial killer. The film includes the now famous “bacon scene,” which won Chris another AFI nomination.

Here is that scene:
https://aso.gov.au/titles/features/kiss-or-kill/clip3/

Sometime back I´d made the decision to have the real pilgrims who walked with me play themselves in the movie. I knew that Chris was masterful at working with “actuals,” and he was also unfazed by working on small productions.

I needed this film to be crewed tight and lean because there was no way I could get the real authenticity of the Camino if I had a large crew. I knew that Chris would chip in, become part of the team, part of the family – which he has done with full vigor.

Chris and I have kept in touch over the years and he knows me. That was also an important factor in the casting. If an actor was to play me, then that actor needed to know me. Yes Chris is a few years older, but that didn’t bother me – he has a mischievous and rascally streak in him and a flagrant disregard for rules regulations and authority, which some people claim is what I have.

Personally, I don’t see it, but then how would I know.

There are four other actors in the film, the rest are “actuals,” or non actors.

The first is Jennifer Cluff, who plays my wife in the film. Perhaps I should call her an actual, but she’s one of Australia’s finest actresses with a career that goes back to . She played Chris Haywood´s wife in A Street to Die.

Laura Lakshmi (below) plays the role of Rosa, who was one of the Biarritz Taxi Four, the four of us sharing a taxi from Biarritz airport to St Jean Pied de Port – and forming friendships for life. The real Rosa couldn’t unfortunately join the production because she’s just had a young baby. But Laura has done a stellar job in playing her…

Pia Thunderbolt plays the character of Cristina, who is a mysterious and haunted looking pilgrim who intersects with Bill’s journey to Santiago intermittently. She finally reveals her devastating secret on the mountain top of O Cebriero. Cristina is a composite character of several pilgrims I met on my five Caminos.

Spanish acto Daniel Espuńa plays a pilgrim I met on and off along the way. He told me that when he first met me, I came across as an arrogant wanker (I’m certain he must’ve mistaken me for someone else) but that later on when he met me again, I’d changed.

Then there’s the “actuals,” and the non actors. The actuals include:

Balazs Orban, who was one of the Taxi Four and played a huge role in helping me finish the Camino. He’s Hungarian, and a remarkable man –

Then there’s another Hungarian, Laszlo Vas, who was an inspiration to me during my walk, and to all of us in the crew during filming.

The two pilgrims that make such an impact in my book, and have become dear friends to Jennifer and me, are Ivan the Terrible (Beeel) and His Beautiful Wife Giovanna. (You take taxi, no?) They were on set every day, even when not doing their scenes, and kept me laughing always.

The non actors, those that aren’t professional actors but who have a connection with the Camino and who play roles are:

Kurt Koontz, a dear dear friend from Boise Idaho who plays an American I met who was quite convinced that I made porn. Kurt did a remarkable job playing a skirt-chasing mysoginistic loud-mouth and Kurt told me it was a big stretch for him to play such a role – he had absolutely no idea why I’d cast him – but he’d do his best. His best will be one of the highlights of the film.

Another dear Camino friend is Patty Talbot, who plays a woman whose name I can’t remember. Patty, in her performance, left Kathey Bates in Misery in the shade…

On my Camino, I asked a waiter to take a group photo of myself with my pilgrim friends. The waiter, predictably, took the shot and left in too much headroom. I told him this, gave him the camera back, asked him to do it again. Again there was too much headroom. I pointed this out to him, again asked him to take the shot and this time to get it right – we must have done it five or six times and he nearly knocked my block off.

Marie Dominique Rigaud, another very close Camino friend, played the role with gusto and left us all laughing –

The actuals and non actors have given performances that are real and truthful. And the actors, working with them, have had to fine tune their performances to match their level of authenticity.

It´s going to be a unique film.

Casting The Way, My Way – Part 1

Who’s in the movie The Way My Way, and why did I make the casting choices that I did?

To understand the casting, you have to know how this film came about.

This film, like most films that I do, has had a very long gestation period. Like about six or seven years. And let me say here that I never set out to make a movie about myself. That was the last thing I ever wanted to do.

After walking the Camino, I sat down and wrote my memoir for the sole purpose of trying to make sense of why I’d done the walk. I’d arrived in Santiago de Compostela after 30 days of walking in a huge amount of pain, confused as to why I’d put myself through it all.

I’d hoped that in writing the book, the reason would reveal itself.

It didn’t.

The transformative power of the Camino is such that it wasn’t until many years later that I was able to look back with a much deeper realisation of why I’d been so compelled to do that pilgrimage.

Anyway, I self-published the book and had no expectations for it. Ten years later it’s still selling strongly and it now has more than a thousand five star reviews on Amazon. Many say in their reviews that it’s the best Camino book they’ve read.

One of the people who read the book was veteran Australian distributor Richard Becker. The book had a profound impact on him and he urged me to make a film on it.

I said no, emphatically.

I didn’t think there was a film in it, and I certainly didn’t want to make a film about myself. Not for any reasons of vanity or to protect myself from public ridicule – it was more that technically, I couldn’t see a way of writing a film about myself.

And also I wasn’t interested.

I know me, now.

I didn’t then, but now I do.

I’d done the walk, I’d written the book. The Camino, for me, had fulfilled its purpose. There were other films I wished to make, such as my PGS series. But Richard was insistent, and so eventually I told him I’d take a swing at it.

As soon as I disengaged myself from the central character, being me, and began to see myself in the third person as a deeply flawed and humorously self-absorbed control freak who simply didn’t have a clue as to the carnage he left in his wake as he journeyed through life, then the character started to interest me and the screenplay began to take shape.

But the writing took literally dozens of drafts and many years.

At first it was going to be a big budget movie with star casting. Richard brought on a major Hollywood sales agent, and that sales agent required a “name” to play me in order for the film to be financed.

We went out to Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnan, Ricky Gervais, Ewan McGregor, Rufus Sewell, Eric Bana, amongst many others – they all politely said no.

We didn’t go out to Hugh Jackman because we figured he’d be otherwise occupied – and I didn’t want him anyway because he wasn’t good looking enough.

The only actor, in my mind, who was perfect for the role of playing me was… wait for it…

George Clooney,

of course,

but I believe he was busy doing Nespresso commercials on Lake Como.

This process of going out to big name cast took years. You have to go out with an offer one at a time – at this level you have to make a personal approach, with a money offer, and you have to wait.

Usually that takes several months.

You have to wait for it to get “coverage” through the actor’s agency. Coverage is a process of assessment, usually carried out by low level agency development staffers, who critically evaluate the screenplay and make certain recommendations.

If it gets good coverage it then goes to the next level of assessment, which is the Outer Circle of the actor’s “people.” If it’s passes their more highly skilled and critical eyes, then it goes to the actor’s “responsible” agent who, if you’re very lucky, will read the screenplay him/herself.

Then the Responsible Agent will look over the offer, he/she will do a thorough review of the director, past work etc, review the producers and any distributor or sales agent already attached ( if you haven’t got good distribution or a solid reputable sales agent in place you’re dead in the water) – only if all this checks out will the agent even discuss it with the actor, much less recommend that the actor reads it.

Like I say, this takes months, and you have to go out one at a time.

After several years of going through this frustrating and mind-numbing process, without any name actor saying yes, an actor “meaningful” enough to trigger the financing of a $10m movie, I finally got jack of it. I could see this film never getting made.

Not only that, I couldn’t see how you could possibly mount a big budget movie on the Camino, merely from a production perspective. Dozens of huge trucks, big disruptive lighting set-ups, the massive infrastructure of a major movie in remote and wild locations on the Camino – I just couldn’t see how it could work.

It’s not as if my partner Jennifer and I haven’t done that sort of thing before- we produced In a Savage Land on the Trobriand Islands in Papua New Guinea – an $8m period film in one of the most difficult and inaccessible places on the planet-

But the Camino is different.

Even if I were to snag a “meaningful” actor and secure finance, to do the film as a big budget production on the Camino would require me to fake a whole lot of things – and I didn’t want to do that. Plus there’s no way a big budget movie could ever cover the whole 800kms of the walk. It would be a massive compromise all the way through.

I wanted to make a film that showed the Camino with total authenticity – that traversed the entirety of the Camino, and got to the essence of the transformative power of this unique experience.

I also wanted to film with the real pilgrims I met on my walk. This to me would bring an undeniable truth to the film. I’d remained friends with them over the years and they were prepared to come join me on this crazy adventure.

So that meant rethinking everything – going super low budget, having a very small crew, working “within” the Camino rather than outside it – but what big name actor would be prepared to work this way? And work with the actual pilgrims who’d been so instrumental in making my Camino something so very special ~

There was only one actor I could think of who could play me with total verisimilitude, and be prepared to work within a super small production environment, and who was skilled and proficient in working with “real” people, and that actor was Chris Haywood.

Part 2 next…

Two days out from shoot, another strange occurrence…

I woke up suddenly last night.

A light woke me up. It was the light from my Fitbit watch, on my wrist. For some strange reason, it was rebooting, and the light had woken me –

In all the years I’ve been wearing a Fitbit, this is the first time that’s ever ever rebooted of its own accord. But last night it did, and it woke me.

I watched it, and once the reboot was finished, up came the time on the watch face – in big numerals:

3:33

That’s what came up on my watch face; 3:33. I did a Google search, to find out what 3:33 meant, and I discovered that I was being guided and protected by “one or more Ascended Spiritual Masters,” and that they had heard my call for help.

I have been calling for help in the past few days. The filming for my movie, The Way, My Way, starts the day after tomorrow and I have been going through periods of self-doubt and panic, and yes – fear – and then last night, this happened.

It was just so weird. Like meeting Dana Gassaway in the O Gato Negro restaurant in Santiago a few days earlier, and him telling me he stood on the star in the chapel at the Burgos Cathedral and he too lost his pain. (see previous blog).

To take my mind off things, and to relax, I’ve been reading The Way Some People Die. This is not a spiritual book, this is hard-boiled crime fiction, written in 1951 by Ross Macdonald, regarded as one of the greatest crime authors of all time – up there with Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler.

The New York Times says that he took crime fiction into literature. And I agree. I’m bowled over by his use of prose, and his dissection of the human spirit.

Why aren’t I reading my script? I figure that the more relaxed I am, the better I’m able to tap into my innate storytelling skills – and reading Ross Macdonald reminds me what’s possible.

But getting back to my Fitbit rebooting, and waking me up to tell me it was 3:33. I don’t regard this as coincidence. I do believe now that our spiritual guides connect with us through such occurrences. I never used to believe this stuff, but now I do.

Walking the Camino was the first step in my shift in consciousness.

A chance meeting?

After completing my first Camino in 2013, and after receiving my Compostela and attending the midday Pilgrim’s Mass in the Santiago Cathedral, I then met up with the pilgrims that I’d walked with on and off during the past thirty days: Balazs, Laszlo, Rosa, and Ivan the Terrible and his Beautiful Wife Giovanna.

We went to Santiago’s classic restaurant, the O Gato Negro – and we had a long lunch, and I remember feeling a happiness I’d not felt since my wedding day (at that stage) some thirty-one years earlier.

As part of the film that’s now underway, a reimagining of my Camino Memoir, The Way My Way, we’ll be recreating that lunch in the same part of that tiny restaurant – and today we surveyed the location in preparation for the shoot.

So there were seven of us in the crew in the O Gato Negro today, combining our location survey with lunch, and we were at the same table in the same backroom where I’d had that lunch ten years earlier. A man sitting at a table across from us stared at me and called out: Are you Bill Bennett?

I said yes, and stood as he came over.

He was a big man, in his 70s, an American – and he said: I knew you were in Spain right now but I never thought I’d meet you.

He then went on to explain that he’d read my blog when I walked that Camino in 2013, then he read my book, then he went and saw my film PGS Intuition is your Personal Guidance System when it screened in San Diego in 2018 during its US cinema run. 

That was extraordinary in itself – that we should meet like that.
But the thing that knocked me out was this:

He told me that he read in my blog, then later in my book, that when I arrived into Burgos in 2013, I went immediately into the Cathedral. I was in a great deal of pain from my knee, and I found myself in one of the Cathedral’s chapels. There was a star on the floor of this chapel, made out of black and white tiles, well worn by the centuries. I stood on this star, then felt compelled to look up – and discovered that high in the vaulted ceiling above me was another star, made from leadlight glass.

Immediately I felt a rush run through my body, from the star above me, through the top of my head down through my body into my feet to the star I was standing on, then back up again. I described it at the time as a rush of divine ecstasy.

I then walked out of that Cathedral with no more pain in my knee. 

Anyway, this gentleman told me that a year later, in 2014, he was walking the Camino and he too was in pain when he got to Burgos. His pain was in his feet. He could barely walk. But he remembered what I’d written and so he made his way into the Cathedral and he found the chapel and he too stood on the star – and he too walked away with his pain gone. 

He told me this today in the little restaurant, and I felt incredibly humbled, I have to say. Humbled that I recognised once again that there are greater forces at work than I often acknowledge, and that these forces are working through me and through many others – as a reminder that “…there are more things in Heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy,” as Hamlet says to Horatio, and as I quote in PGS. 

I left that restaurant today feeling very strange – this gentleman, Dana Gassaway, said that he’d never been to that restaurant before but a Camino friend, Kelly Lin (a Taiwanese pilgrim and author), had suggested it, and had he not been in the backroom he would not have seen me (and recognised me from my blog.)

Not one hour earlier, I was speaking with one of our crew, Paco Plaza, (our brilliant Spanish locations fixer) about getting permission to film in the Burgos Cathedral, and I’d shown him photos of that star on the floor, and the domed star.

I’d explained to him what had happened. How after standing on that star the pain in my knee disappeared. Less than an hour later I met Dana in the O Gato Negro and he told me his story.

A chance meeting?
I don’t think so.
Coincidence?
I don’t think so.

This film is coming together in ways that sometimes leave me in a state of awe and wonder.