Fear of success

I haven’t posted in a while and for that I apologise – but as some of you might know, I’m currently touring America with my film, PGS – Intuition is your Personal Guidance System.

From the moment we launched in San Rafael, north of San Francisco, on January 10th, the response has been phenomenal.

That premiere screening sold out. A second “overflow” screening sold out, and the cinema has since been showing the film daily, three sessions a day. It’s now into its fourth week.

To have daily screenings of a “pop up” Theatrical on Demand release is unheard of.

Since launching, we’ve had sell-out screenings across the country. What’s consistently happening is that we’ll sell out a smaller cinema in a multiplex, sometimes a week or ten days ahead of the screening, then we get bumped up to a bigger screen and that sells out, and often if available we’ll again bump to an even larger cinema, and that sells out.

For those of us involved in the production of the film, it’s surprising, gratifying, and humbling.

Surprising in that we didn’t realise what a need there is out there for a film which discusses  intuition not from the perspective of does it exist – my film states right up front that it exists because it saved my life – but that it is a legitimate system that we can tap into to make better choices in life.

And that mystical guidance is real, and it works.

For Jennifer and myself, these past several weeks have been a whirlwind of screenings, traveling, and meeting extraordinary people who have enriched us in so many ways, and work. Attending to emails, social media in all its various forms, and coordinating the rollout of the film, not only across the US, but across the world.

In amongst it all I have been writing the book of the film. My workload is such that I haven’t been able to give it the attention that I’ve needed to, but I’m now on track to finish the first draft by the end of this month – hopefully!

I thought I would include in this post another extract.

The film, and the book, looks at how fear inhibits intuition. It looks at four types of fear – and there are many more types of fear, but I’ve honed it down in this book to these types:

Fear of loss
Feat of ridicule or rejection – aka Fear of not being loved
Fear of failure
Fear of letting go – aka Fear of losing control
Fear of success

Here is an excerpt from the section that deals with Fear of Success –



Could it be that what’s holding you back from following an intuitive way of life is that it might just actually work? That you might end up feeling good about yourself, and the rest of the world? That you might end up becoming more successful in life than you ever thought possible?

Becoming successful need not mean making millions of dollars, or being the best at what you do, or becoming famous and having your own reality tv show – it could mean simply being a terrific parent or partner, or living each day with a sense of calm and compassion for others, or simply finding inner peace.

But for that to happen, you’ll have to change, and most people are terrified of change. They might want to change, to become successful and find contentment, but they want change on their terms.

Many people want change only if it means they don’t have to change. Change terrifies them. It means pulling themselves out of a state of known, and stepping into the unknown, which is so daunting they would prefer to stay where they are – unhappy, unfulfilled, angry at their lot in life.

 Change requires an element of risk, to step into the unknown. It requires trust. Trust in the forces that will guide you, but also trust in yourself. And most people don’t trust themselves. They lack self-esteem. Deep down, at their core, they don’t believe they deserve success. Most people reject the prospect of leading a successful life because they think it’s for other people – worthy people – not for themselves. Because they lack self-worth.

To begin to access your intuition you first must believe you deserve all that it can do for you – all that it can bring you. You have to deal with your own sense of self-worth.

Many of us wrap our misery and failures around us like a security blanket. It actually makes us feel good to feel like crap. Because we see our miserable existence as being not only the natural state of a cruel and unforgiving world, it’s also the natural state of who we are as human beings.

Seeing the world this way allows us to get a certain comfort from sharing in the collective experience of feeling like crap. We find ourselves rejoicing in the notion that life is patently unfair, and every day is a struggle towards mere survival, nothing more. And happiness, true happiness, is a fleeting transitory illusion sent only to throw us into even deeper despair.  

I know people who think like this.
And it’s sad.

What they’re doing is they’re blaming everything else, and everyone else, on the outcomes of the choices that they’ve made. They might say that circumstances forced them to make the choices that they made, but that’s not true.

You are ultimately responsible for the choices that you make. And for what then happens when you make those choices.

Remember, intuition is a messaging service. That’s all it is. It’s DDM – Divine Direct Messaging. And it directs you to make the right choices, the choices that will lead you to true fulfillment, and joy and love. Therein lies contentment. Not necessarily happiness, which is transitory and ultimately illusory, but contentment.

We have this dictum: It’s too good to be true.

What nonsense!

It’s that kind of conditioned thinking that holds us back. It keeps us small, it keeps us contained. At its heart, it’s saying that we don’t deserve whatever it is that’s too good. And that we shouldn’t relish it, we shouldn’t rejoice in it, because very soon it will be snatched away from us because we don’t deserve it. We’re not worthy.

Why shouldn’t the too good be not only true, but a permanent and sustainable part of our lives? We do deserve it. It’s ours. We have a right to the too good. In fact, it’s our birthright.

Here’s another one: Fifteen minutes of fame.

Let’s take this out of the celebrity Kim Kardashian context and look at it terms of fleeting glory. Why does glory have to be short-lived? Why can’t glory be, once again, a permanent and sustainable part of our life?

Fifteen minutes of fame tells us that we don’t deserve anything more. That fifteen minutes is all we get, and then it’s gone, because then it’s someone else’s turn and they deserve it more than us. And we have to step back into the shadows, and put up with obscurity once again because we’re not good enough to have a lifetime of fame.

All these sayings – like fifteen minutes of fame – do is reinforce the notion that we’re not worthy of greatness. And that’s where our guidance seeks to take us – to greatness. To the full expression of who we truly are, which is a state of greatness.


Some of the questions I’m asked ~

With the opening of my film now in the US to sell-out screenings, I’ve been doing Q&As after the movie, but also lots of media interviews. And I thought I would share with you some of the more interesting questions I’ve been asked, and how I’ve responded.

INTERVIEWER: Are intuition and common sense the same thing?

MY RESPONSE: Actually, they are the opposite thing. Common-sense comes from the rational self, not the intuitive self, and it’s based on past experience, logic, and often times tried and true accepted beliefs. Intuition isn’t based on past experience – it works outside of time and space, and it doesn’t draw from logic or the intellect. Common sense works to keep you safe, keep you contained, it has you doing what you’ve done in the past, or what others have done in the past. It’s limited to what’s gone before. Intuition is limitless. It asks that you follow paths you’ve never followed before. It leads to true discovery, to originality, to adventure. Common sense contracts you. Intuition expands you.

INTERVIEWER: Can intuition be used to harm someone, or can it harm yourself?

MY RESPONSE: Intuition can never be harmful, to you or to others. It comes from Source, from Spirit, and it can’t be used for anything other than love. It can’t be corrupted or manipulated into any kind of injurious act. If someone gets “messages” that ask you to harm someone else, or even think harmful thoughts, then that’s not intuition. It’s an aspect of your being that it rooted in the “I,” or the ego. Intuition exists outside of ego, and only ever works in the Light. 

INTERVIEWER: How do you know that the “voice” that you hear is your intuition, and not just some random thought/voice that you’ve made up yourself?

MY RESPONSE: Intuition leaves you with no doubt. It is immediate, and it’s messaging is unambiguous. And it’s accompanied by a sense of calm, and knowing. Your ego-voice leaves you in doubt, in confusion, and it’s often wrapped in fear. Your intuition voice is the antithesis of fear. The purpose of fear is to create more fear, as Paul Selig’s Guides say. The purpose of intuition is to keep you healthy and safe, so that you can fulfil your true purpose in life.

INTERVIEWER: Isn’t intuition just another word for instinct?

MY RESPONSE: No, they are totally different. The two words are not interchangeable. Instinct is primitive, it’s animalistic, it’s a survival mechanism that is body based. It’s a function of the body. Intuition is timeless, limitless, it’s a divine messaging service and it’s a function of the soul.

INTERVIEWER: In your film you never talk about meditation as being a way to access your intuition. Why not?

MY RESPONSE: Because I didn’t want to scare people off. You don’t need to meditate to access your intuition. You can access your intuition standing in the shower or having a bath, or walking along a beach or swimming, or hiking in the woods. You don’t need to sit crossed legged in a cave for hours chanting Om and clutching a crystal to become intuitive. The concept of meditation is terrifying for many people – particularly men – and I want the film to encourage men to become more intuitive. 

These are just some of the questions I get asked. I don’t set myself up as an expert on this stuff by any means, but after 18 years reading and researching and trying to figure out what that voice was that saved my life, I have come to certain conclusions that make sense to me. And my job, as I see it, is to communicate that as wide as possible.


End of year audit, and hopes for new year ~

As followers of this blog know, at this time each year I do an audit of what I achieved this past year, pegged against what I said I wanted to achieve – and I set out what I hope to achieve the coming year.

So, firstly – here is a link to last year’s audit – 2017 expectations

How did I go? I did some, didn’t do some. Here’s what I wanted to achieve in 2017, and what I did achieve –

  • The feature film PGS – Intuition is your Personal Guidance System will be completed, and released. TICK
  • I will actively market the film. TICK
  • I will write two books associated with the film, for sale on release of the film. NUP. WRITING ONE NOW, – WON’T BE FINISHED TILL END FEB EARLIEST. HAVE NEARLY FINISHED ANOTHER (120,000 WORDS CURRENTLY)
  • The first two books in the Palace of Fires series will be completed and delivered to Penguin Random House. TICK. FIRST BOOK – INITIATE – COMES OUT JAN 29 THIS YEAR, IN A FEW WEEKS, 2ND BOOK – UNHOLY – COMES OUT SEPT THIS YEAR.
  • The Camino film will be budgeted, scheduled, key cast will come on board and I’ll have a workable finance plan. TICK – EXCEPT STILL CASTING
  • The Indian honour killing film will be set up to shoot the year after. NOT SET UP STILL. STILL HOPING
  • Jennifer and I will mount another Indian tour. NUP. NO TIME
  • Jennifer and I will mount another German Christmas tour. NUP. NO TIME

So what do I hope to achieve this year, 2018?

  • PGS the movie will release globally and be a success.
  • Jennifer and I will travel and help market and promote the film.
  • PGS the book will be published.
  • JOURNAL OF A JOURNEY – the book on the making of the film – will be published.
  • The first two PALACE OF FIRES books – INITIATE & UNHOLY – will be published by Penguin Random House to great commercial success!
  • I will complete and deliver the third in the PALACE OF FIRES series – BEAST – to Penguin Random House.
  • BUEN CAMINO, the feature film, will be cast and set for filming in 2019
  • I will walk 3000kms from my front door to the end of the world.

The last one is the biggie – a walk I have been dreaming about and planning for a while now. Literally walking out my front door in Mudgee, Central NSW, and walking to Cape Finisterre on the far west coast of Spain.

To be able to do that though I have to meet my obligation on my delivery of the third PALACE OF FIRES book – a 100k+ word book which is going to be a tough write.

If I can achieve all of the above, then 2018 will be a good year work wise.

PGS opens in the US in January ~

Now that Christmas is over I can give full focus to a big trip coming up – to the US to help promote my movie in its theatrical on demand release across the country.

Jennifer and I will be pinging back and forth across the US in January and early Feb, with ten screenings already in the works, and another three soon to come on stream too.

Here is the current schedule:

10th Jan – San Rafael / Northern California
16th Jan – Phoenix / Arizona
18th Jan – Boulder / Colorado
22nd Jan – Houston / Texas
24th Jan – Austin / Texas
25th Jan – Knoxville / Tennessee
28th Jan – Greensboro / North Carolina
28th Jan – Meditation Museum / Maryland
31st Jan – Seattle / Washington
26th Feb – Minneapolis / Minnesota
To Be Confirmed
5th Feb – Mount Shasta / California
6th Feb – Ashland / Oregon

Screenings are being added all the time. If you want to host a screening in your town or city, then here’s the link where you can sign up as a movie captain:

Movie Captain a screening of PGS

What’s involved?

As a movie captain you work with Jennifer and myself – and the distributors Gathr Films – to get enough people to sign up for tickets. That’s all. It doesn’t cost you anything other than some time and effort. Gathr Films lines up and liaises with the cinema – all you do is choose the date that suits you best.

Jennifer and I will be doing Q&As at all these screenings, except the one in Minnesota at the end of February – so if you want to buy a ticket to any of these shows, here is the link:

To buy tickets click here – BUY TICKETS

It’s going to be a massive trip for Jennifer and myself – and in amongst it all I’m doing media interviews too – but it will be great to bring the film to the US.

Hope to see you at one of the screenings!

The book of the film – an excerpt

As I mentioned previously, I’m currently writing a book of the film I’ve made on intuition –

PGS – Intuition is your Personal Guidance System.

The book will reference the film, and quotes from the various interviewees, but it will also go deeper.

Here is an excerpt on a chapter on The Purpose of Intuition:

So many people I know are unhappy, and when you scratch the surface and dig deeper to find out the real reasons why they’re not happy, it’s often because they’re not fulfilled. They don’t feel as though they’re doing what they really should be doing – what they’re meant to be doing. They’re not being who they feel they truly are. Their life hasn’t turned out like they thought it would. They feel empty. Hope is fading, or has gone completely. And that fuels regret, anger, depression, and often hatred. Self-hatred, and hatred of others.

Sometimes it manifests in health issues. Your health is connected to your emotional state, and if you’re stressed and angry and depressed, then sooner or later that’s going to reflect in your physical wellbeing. High blood pressure, cancer, diabetes – these can sometimes be causal of a distressed emotional state, and often that comes down to the fact that we’ve lost our way. We’ve deviated from our true path in life.

To compensate we eat too much. We drink too much. Alcohol, sugary drinks, whatever. We get fat and we don’t like the way we look. We don’t like the way we behave. We say things and do things we regret later. We watch too much tv. We don’t get out into nature. We take drugs. Opioids. Other stuff. We fight. We gamble. We lose money. We lose friends. That puts us under more pressure, more stress. That fuels our anger and depression even more. It’s a self-perpetuating cycle.

Why is life so hard? So brutal?
Because we’ve lost our way.
We’ve made the wrong choices.
We blame others for the way things have turned out,
and we don’t acknowledge that it’s our choices
that have created our lives.
We are responsible for our choices –
for the consequences of those choices.

What is the purpose of intuition? To help us make the right choices. To help guide us to our true purpose in life, to the full expression of who we truly are.

A brush with death ~

I want to post here an email I received from a man named Zach – a supporter of my film PGS – Intuition is your Personal Guidance System.

This is an extraordinary story – one in which an intuitive “hit” saved the life of Zach’s son, and probably saved his life too. Zach has given me permission to publish this on the blog. He lives in the US.

Here it is:

I had a close brush with death in August that could have been catastrophic if I hadn’t listened to the voice.

My son and I were climbing in the Yellowstone backcountry. I was leading most the day and we were close to the top when I felt or heard a strong impression to move my son to lead and I follow.

My son switched with me and climbed a short face in front of us. Once he was up and stable I moved up to the base to start climbing when I heard an ominous grinding noise above me.

I looked up just in time to see a piece of rock about the size of a vw bug began to slide free from the face towards me. As it broke free it began to roll. I didn’t have much room to maneuver but I was able to move just enough to my left that the rock didn’t hit my head.

It did hit my right shoulder and stop for a few seconds with me pinned under a corner. Luckily it was unstable and slowly rolled over my right side and off the ledge I was on. 

The energy from the rolling boulder went through my right arm and shattered the elbow end of my humerus. It was 530pm. I was in shock. My 10 year old son was traumatized.

We had to figure out how to downclimb. Then hike 9 miles and drive 2 hours to the nearest hospital. My car is a manual and my kid doesn’t know how to drive yet. The hurdles to help were ridiculous, but through the ordeal I couldn’t help but feel how much worse things would have been if I hadn’t listened. 

As I’ve dealt with mild PTSD after the event I have woken up countless times from reliving the moment but as if I hadn’t listened to the voice… I watch helplessly as my son is crushed by a car size boulder.  I look forward to seeing the finished film and the result of all your work on the voice that can guide us if we know how, and are willing, to listen.

That’s a pretty amazing story.

I later wondered if, had not Zach had an involvement in my film, would he have been so attuned and so responsive to a strange “voice.” We’ll never know. But in attending screenings across Australia as I have over these past several weeks, I’ve constantly had people come up to me and tell me stories of how a voice or a gut instinct saved their lives.

What happened to me – hearing a voice which prevented me getting smashed by a truck – is not unusual. It happens all to frequently, it’s just that a lot of people don’t talk about it.

My film, it seems, gives people permission to talk about it.



PGS the book ~

I’m currently writing PGS the book.

PGS the book differs from PGS the movie in that it’s a narrative. It details all that I’ve learned in the eighteen years it’s taken me to make the film.

It’s a stand-alone piece. You don’t need to have seen the film to read the book. In fact it goes well beyond the film, because the film largely expresses the views of the interviewees.

In the book I reference those viewpoints – but I go further and I put them into a personal context, and look at how I can use that information to help me in my day to day life.

In the book I also bring up concepts such as mystical intuition.

Here is an excerpt:

This book explores mystical intuition. It explores where it comes from, how it works, and what its purpose is in our lives. Over the eighteen years I’ve spent puzzling over and researching intuition, I’ve come to believe this: that intuition is a legitimate functioning system in our bodies, as legitimate as any other system such as our central nervous system, our circulatory system, our immune system, etc.

Where our intuitive system differs is that it works within our energetic realm – and that energetic realm interfaces with our physiological realm in order to grab our attention – in order to send us signals.

Most of us ignore these signals, because we give them no validity. Most of us don’t even acknowledge that intuition exists, much less that it exists as a functioning system designed to help guide us through life. Guide us to what? To the full expression of who we really are.

Certainly western science discounts the notion of intuition simply because it can’t quantify the energetic realm. It can’t measure it. And if science can’t measure something, then it dismisses it as not being real.

Yet the East has acknowledged the energetic realm for millennia. They incorporate the chakra system in yoga and Hinduism, as well as the notion of prana as a “life force.” Similarly the Chinese talk of chi and the Japanese know it as ki – and the acupuncture meridian system has been used in Chinese medicine for thousands of years. Still western medicine and science refuses to acknowledge it – just as they refuse to acknowledge intuition. 

The book will be about 50,000 words. I hope to have it finished by the end of February. It will go on sale when the film is released on Video on Demand later in the year.

Separate to that I have been writing a journal during the making of the film. It’s currently sitting at 120,000 words. It’s massive.

It’s called Journal of a Journey, and it details all the ups and downs during the film’s production – including all the crazy weird stuff that has happened, all the coincidences, synchronicities, all the disappointments – and all the times when intuition stepped in to keep me, and the film, on track.

That book will be released when the film comes out on VOD as well.

There’s so much fascinating background stuff to tell about this film –