Everyone who reads this blog knows that I love my wife very much. And that I would do nothing to hurt her. Or even rile her. And that I regard her as a highly evolved spiritual being.
Well, all that went out the window last night, literally.
She was cooking fennel. Grilling it. For a fennel and avocado salad we were going to have for dinner. The fennel looked like it was singeing – burning. So I suggested I put some olive oil in.
She said no, it didn’t need olive oil.
I watched the fennel get more and more singed. So while she was preparing the avocado, I got the oil can and put some oil in.
Smoke went everywhere, and I thought the pan was going to burst into flames.
Jennifer went ballistic.
She screamed and yelled at me.
I laughed, and told her she should go meditate.
And I marvelled at how years and years of spiritual practice can so easily be put aside in a moment of genuine anger and frustration.
I acknowledge, I can be difficult to live with at times…
PGS - The Way 
Did you suggest making s’mores? Seriously, NEVER mess with a woman’s recipe or bathroom stash of lotions and potions, Bill! Didn’t you say you have been married over 30 years? You are very lucky she didn’t club you with the pan. Jennifer, be sure to check your homeowners insurance for fire and smoke coverage!
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hmmm – I understand that Julie, but really, with all the time she invests in meditation and spiritual growth, you’d think she’d be a little more forgiving
😀
Bill
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Bill –
For an avocado and fennel salad, I expect that Jennifer was caramelizing it to bring out the subtle sweetness to go with the anise-like character in order to have a more robust and nuanced salad.
If you are making dinner, you can prepare it any darn way you want.
If Jennifer is making dinner, she is to be afforded the same courtesy.
BTW, you grabbed the wrong oil, dude. Exceeding the smoke point does bad things to the oil that tend to not sit well with the human metabolism.
Best you stick to writing and film-making. Cooking is something you might do on a supervised basis… and with a fire extinguisher at hand.
You are lucky that she just made a fuss and did not go for the many sharp objects available in a kitchen.
Brendan
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haha – yes Brendan, she said I was lucky she didn’t hit me with the pan!
She had to open the window to let all the smoke out. I really did think for a moment there the pan would explode.
The benefit of it all was that the fennel afterwards did have a lovely smokey flavour, albeit somewhat burnt
And yes, just like Jennifer takes an hour composing a reply to a blog comment, I know my limitations when it comes to cooking
I do a mean spag bol though 😀
Bill
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I thought you were smarter than that. 😦 i’m smarter than that, so why am I separated and you are happily married? Maybe she is an adrenaline junkie. 🙂
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Steve –
I tried the line: That’s why you find me so loveable
It didn’t work.
She then brought up issues of trust – you know, You don’t trust me to cook something right
WHY DO WOMEN DO THAT????
It’s not about trust. It’s about that poor burnt fennel. I felt sorry for it. It needed some oil.
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No, you dolt – it was NOT burnt. If it had been burnt, you would have found it inedible, moreso especially after your abominable treatment of it.
It was being caramelized. How come you are such a slow learner on some things?
Stick with the spag bol – it is safer…for everyone.
Brendan
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Spag bol is easy. It’s hard to burn mince.
although I have cindered the garlic a few times.
It needed more oil…
🙂
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Oh, dear.
At this moment, I do not believe that there is a bound to the sympathy I feel for poor Jennifer.
Brendan
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Brendan – I don’t know anything about caramelisation – other than in bars of chocolate
Also, I would like to state that olive oil is good for the heart. I saw that on The Lifestyle channel…
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To those of you who have the skills at media composition and language skills in Spanish and French, I have A Modest Proposal for a Public Safety Announcement – to all albergues and refugios.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Bill’s picture, centered in text that reads –
This man, though beloved by many, is a gastronomical hazard and physically dangerous in the kitchen.
Do NOT allow him to sautee, sear, fry or braise in the communal kitchen.
He can boil water but even then requires supervision.
By the way, he has “trust issues” about food; ignore his “back seat cooking” for your own good.
Distract him – – Ply him with wine and have him tell stories.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
We could save Bill’s life in France (they’d be on to him in a flash); additionally think of countless lives and property saved in Spain and Portugal.
I am sure the Camino tradition and the future generations treading it would be grateful.
Thank You!
Brendan
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Brendan –
can you put PLY HIM WITH WINE in capitals?
thank you
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Well, Bill, I cannot. We all know that I do not have an artistic bone in my body.
However, I support your suggestion and commend it to the public-minded and skilled member of our community that would undertake such an endeavor.
Brendan
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Brendan –
I try and stay away from kitchens at albergues.
The next thing I know I’m doing the dishes out of a sense of guilt.
And invariably I drop something
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One word, Bill.
EXCELLENT!
Brendan
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Ah, yes, a new protocol for the Camino. If you see pilgrim Bill Bennett in the albergue kitchen steer clear!
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Well since I’m Italian, I think everything should have olive on it. Hummmmm…..yes my husband and I had a simular spiritual experience over sauerkraut on hot dogs years back in our marriage, should it be heated or eaten cold. Of course I won, I heated it and we’ve eaten sauerkraut heated ever since! 34 years of marriage and going strong!
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Oops, I meant olive oil of course!
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As an Italian, what are you doing eating hot dogs?!
Bill
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Hahahaha……………….American baseball! Your right though, I should be eating Italian sausage.
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Hilarious Bill! Jamie Oliver needs to take some lessons from the PGS Chef !
BTW – How many florists are there in Mudgee? Say “I’ll never cook again” with flowers !
Brendan – thank you for using that wonderful word “dolt”! So descriptive – I love it !!!
Cheers and Buen Provecho! – Jenny
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Oi – Jenny…
What do you mean “dolt” is descriptive???
🙂
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Ha ha! Just that! For an entertaining 10 seconds or so, check out the synonyms for “dolt” – there are some further very descriptive nouns in this lot!
Cheers – Jenny
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Jenny!
Don’t encourage Brendan, please!!
Look up “dolt” – no thank you, but while you’re in the Ds, look up –
Diligent Devoted Dignified Distinguished Debonaire Dashing Dilatente Debauched and, of course… Dropkick…
😀
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