Why am I doing this walk?

Today, that question reasserted itself very strongly.

I still don't know, but what I do know is that the call was very strong, and where I am right now had a great deal to do with it.

Firstly, my day –

Can't say I liked O Cebreiro. It had a very strange energy. I didn't take any pics because I couldn't bring myself to. It looked like a movie set. Something you'd find on a Universal Studios tour. It was a stone village so perfectly preserved, with so many tourist shops and so many tourists, that it reeked of artificiality.

The storekeepers and merchants had the battle weary dissonance you always find in tourist traps. I was pleased to get out of there, so I left at 6:30am, knowing I had 32 kms to do today, to get to Samos.

It was a beautiful sunrise. Yeah I know, I'm not supposed to think sunrises are beautiful, but this one was a cracker.

(I took a photo with my iPhone and a High Dynamic Range app. It's the first time I've not used my Fuji. I find those Instagram / HDR Pro apps too gimmicky for my taste, but it gave a spectacular image, even though I think it looks fake!)

The first part of the day was hard – steep climbs and equally steep descents. Murder on the knees, and my knee reminded me today that it hadn't gone away. It misses the Meseta.

I had breakfast after about 2 hrs walking – coffee (only one, because I'd grabbed one in OC before I left) – and beautiful ham and cheese on toast. The bill came to €2.75. In Australia, the same breakfast would cost about $4 for the coffee and $6-$8 for the toast and ham and cheese. That's about €8-9.

I'd done about 21 kms by lunch, so I popped into a restaurant in Triacastela and had a Pilgrims Menu (€10) of beautiful home made Galician soup, and barbecued steak, and home made rice pudding. I needed the sustenance after the walk – and I still had a ways to go to Samos.

The last 7 kms into Samos has to go down as perhaps the most glorious walk I've ever done. A track that led through ancient stone villages (the real deal!) and following a stream which had little waterfalls and rapids at regular stages.

The track rose and fell, so at times I was way above the stream looking down at it through the trees, and at other times I was walking right beside it.

Many of the trees were ancient and covered in moss, and some were in flower and were blowing tiny white blossoms onto the path in front of me. Always was the sound of tinkling water, along with cuckoo birds, and cow bells.

I stopped regularly to take photos, and just take in the beauty. I was very slow – 9 kms in 3 hrs – and I didn't want the track to end.

But then I turned a corner and there below me was the Samos Monastery. Truly magnificent.

Two years ago, my wife and I stopped in Samos for a coffee and I wandered around the Monastery. I remember seeing pilgrims entering the Monastery's albergue, and I poked my head in. I saw all these bunks, and pilgrims staking out their territory with their backpacks and sleeping bags.

Later, I spoke to a fellow who was doing the Camino. I remember asking him a lot of questions – how many kms he did each day, how long he'd been walking for, etc.

Samos isn't on the most direct route to Santiago. It's a 7km detour. But I had to come back.

I've now staked out a bunk with my backpack and sleeping bag. I'm sleeping in that same dormitory in the Monastery I checked out two years ago. At 7:30, I go to Vespers in the Chapel. It includes Gregorian Chants.

It will be an experience.

And it might give me some clue as to why I'm doing this walk.

I now know my schedule.

I want to be in Santiago for the Sunday Pilgrim's Mass. It's on the Sunday that they swing the giant incense burner – the Botafumeria – and having seen it on docos, I'd like now to see it for real.

It would be a fitting end to this extraordinary experience.

Again, let me state that I'm not Catholic, and I don't follow an orthodox religion. As I said earlier, in the last census I put down that I was a Buddhist because they've had a rough time in Tibet and I figured they needed my statistical support.

That said, I'm on a pilgrimage. And I'd like to be there for that Sunday Mass.

To get there in time, I will have to do a couple of 30km+ days in the next week. I want to try and get to Samos tonight, and stay in the monastery there. I was there two years ago with my wife – we were driving through and stopped at a cafe for a coffee, and found the monastery by accident.

(There are no accidents, right?)

At the time, I had a hankering that I wanted to walk the Camino, and the place struck me as being something very special. Very calm. Very spiritual. And the monastery is supposed to be one of the largest in western Europe. I'd now like to go back as a pilgrim.

However, it's an option on the route, and adds another 7 kms to the day's tally. For me though, it's important to go back. What's 7 kms when I've done 650 kms?

If I do make it to the Sunday mass, then that means I will have walked the Camino in 32 days. With 3 rest days. So my actually walking days, or hobbling days sometimes, would be 29.

Some of you might think that's too fast, however let me say, and others along this path who've seen me walking will vouch for this – I could not have gone much slower!

Even when I'm full throttle I barely break 4 kms/hr. And most of the time I've been doing 3 kms an hour, both because of injury, and because I stop and take photos.

Most pilgrims are averaging 5-6 kms an hour. However they take long rest breaks. And they usually end their day at 1pm or 1:30pm.

I don't rest. I just walk. (One day I walked 22 kms without stopping for a break.) And I'll often walk until 4pm or 5pm.

People who've passed me during the day are amazed to find that I'm ahead of them the next day. They reckon I've bussed it, or taken a taxi! It's just that I'll finish late and leave early.

So I don't feel I've rushed the Camino. Like I said, I don't think I could have done it much slower.

What I've learnt from all this is that I've got a lot of stamina, and I'm much stronger both physically and mentally than I thought I was. But my theory is that the Camino infuses you with energy, from the soul imprints of all those who've been before.

I truly believe this.

Oh yes, and Coke Zeros help too…

So that's my schedule. I hope I can do these next few long days.

For those of you who have very kindly told me to slow down because they don't want the blogs to end, let me say that even after I've finished, I want to do a series of blogs doing an “audit” of the whole experience – practically and metaphysically.

For instance, I want to do a blog on my expectations of walking the Camino, versus the reality. I want to explore the question: Is the Camino a spiritual journey or just an adventure holiday? And I'd like to post my top ten photos that I've taken. Things like that.

So there'll be more blogs!

Now, it's actually 3:32am here (damn you Camino, why couldn’t it have been 3:33?) so I better get back to sleep. I have 32 kms to walk today if I'm to get to the monastery at Samos.

Today, the big climb up to O Cebreiro was fine.

Demanding at times, but fine.

I learnt a big lesson today, but we'll get to that later.

Villafranca del Beirzo turned out to be a gorgeous little town. I left very early, (6am), as I'll explain later, and made my way through the empty streets in the dark, trying to find the markers out of town.

I followed a group of girls who seemed to know what they were doing. They had the giggles and exuberance of day packers.

I ended up getting lost and following them, then they suddenly stopped by the side of the road. I thought it was to check their map, but it was to have breakfast!

I walked up to them and they immediately invited me to join them – they offered me hot chocolate and beautiful biscuits from Toledo. They were from Madrid, and it was their first day on the Camino. They were so generous and sweet.

I bumped into them on and off during the day as the walk progressed.

After about 10 kms I had breakfast of the mandatory two coffees, and some freshly made tortilla. The next 10 kms was fairly flat…

And then the climb began.

I thought about how the Camino has thrown this last hardship at us, right near the end. And once again, how like life it is.

Many people have to deal with hardship in the later years of their life – health issues, caring for aged parents, losing their job or dealing with financial problems.

The Camino really is metaphoring nicely!

I was anxious about this stage. I'd been anxious about it before I left Australia. Looking at topographical maps, the first stage from St. Jean to Roncesvalles, and this stage to O Cebreiro, were the two doozies.

Consequenly last night I didn't sleep. I left the hotel this morning at 6am with about four hours sleep. So by the time I hit the climbs, I was exhausted.

There were two sections in today's walk which were stiff. But nothing I haven't handled before. What made today really hard for me was my exhaustion from lack of sleep, because of my anxiety.

In other words, I perpetrated a difficult day for myself. I created it. I said it was going to be difficult, and that's what i manifested for myself!

(Read my precursor to this blog – Day 26 Coming up. I told you all it was going to be hard and it was!)

If i hadn't been anxious, and if I'd had a decent amount of sleep, I would have sailed up to O Cebreiro.

My secret weapon when I'm whacked on this walk? Two cans of Coke Zero. With ice. Caffeine and putrid chemical sugar substitutes. Works like a dream!

At the base of the climb, there was this old codger dawdling along. He was from Switzerland, and his name was Zoren. He was 67. We chatted briefly, then I politely told him that I'd have to leave him because I was going to walk at my own pace – ie, I was going to leave him well behind.

After about a kilometre he passed me going up a steep incline, and I never saw him again on the climb. He moved like a mountain goat.

i did though bump into him in O Cebreiro and complemented him on the vigour of his climb. He said that he was a telecommunications technician, and his job involved him traipsing over the Alps in Switzerland fixing towers etc.

Never never judge.

You think I'd have learnt that by now.

By the way, I've now crossed into Galicia. And the capital is Santiago de Compostela. I can't believe I only have about 150 kms to go.

I have a huge day ahead.

36 kms and a massive King of the Mountain climb up 1,000m to O Cebreiro.

If my day's blog is late, or there's no Internet up top of the mountain, that's the reason why.

Hardest section other than the very first over the Pyrenees.

Wish me luck!

Bill

I shaved this morning.

Thing is, I shaved with a disposable razor.

I haven't used a disposable razor since I was a student. I bought 6 Gillette disposable razors yesterday for €1.90. I didn't buy them for the price, but for the weight. When you walk the Camino, everything comes down to weight.

Plastic disposable razor blades weigh bugger all.

The reason I haven't used a disposable razor since I was young is that technology has moved on, and we've now been primed to believe that we need the latest Gillette Powerglide, (or whatever they're called), which requires a battery to make it vibrate and give you a closer smoother shave.

Its blade isn't just one blade, but four blades with an aloe vera stripe to ensure that you never get a shaving cut, and your cheeks will be as smooth as a baby's butt.

These blades cost two bucks a pop.

I mention this as the start to my post today because it occurred to me as I set out on my walk this morning, at 7am, (with my cheeks freshly shaved without a cut), that my relationship with my shaving apparatus really does run parallel with my life.

Why has my life become four blades instead of one?

Where has the simplicity gone?

The Camino demands simplicity.You carry everything you need to survive on your back. You haul it up hills, up mountains, across vast plains and down into valleys. What you possess is your burden. Literally. If you don't need it, really need it, you still carry it. So it forces you to look at everything you have and ask: is it necessary?

If you want to have a fancy wardrobe choice, you carry it. If you want to wear make-up, or use after-shave, you carry it. If you want to use a blow dryer, or take multi-vitamins, you carry it.

Your possessions are your burden.

There are other simplicities the Camino demands.

You walk from A to B each day. If you leave late or walk slow, you arrive late. If you linger over lunch, you arrive late. If you arrive late, you may not get a bed. In which case you have to walk to the next town.

In terms of goals, objectives and obstacles, there is nothing simpler.

Relationships are simple. Everyone shares a common goal – to get to Santiago. And everyone goes through hardship. That makes for courteous respectful and ego-less relationships.

There is no status on the Camino. Everyone is equal.

(Except for those miserable lazy day-packers who bus in from Astorga and talk loud.)

Ooops. Remind me to delete that.

Let me tell you about my day:

I thought I got lost walking out of Ponferrada this morning, but I did finally connect up with the ubiquitous yellow arrows. On the outskirts of town I passed a very old church, and in its grounds was an old moss covered rock with a statue on top.

Many of these statues, and figures in paintings in the churches, hold their hands Buddha like, or similar to some of the Hindu gods and goddesses. There's such strong similarity across religions in the iconography.

I had breakfast in a town about 2hrs out of Ponferrada, and later met a young couple from Montreal who are carrying their 11month old baby to Santiago. Amazing people. They started in Leon.

I then walked through some beautiful old villages until I got to vineyards on the outskirts of Villafranca del Bierzo.

Today was a short day for me. 23 kms. Just over the pussy mark.

Whew.

Today was an extraordinary day, really.

I climbed to the highest point on the Camino, at 1515m. I put a piece of Mudgee slate at the base of the Crux de Ferro (Iron Cross) just as the sun was coming up, I walked across what seemed to be the top of the world, and ripped down into valleys full of the first flush of blooming wildflowers.

The sun was out all day. There was no wind. Blue skies. What a great day to walk the Camino!

I got up early, and was out the door by 6:30am, keen to get to the Iron Cross by sunrise (7:30am).

The Iron Cross is one of the major landmarks on the Camino. Tradition has it that you bring a stone, or rock, or some keepsake from your home, and place it at the base of the cross, or on the cross itself.

My wife pulled a piece of Mudgee slate from our garden, and I placed this at the base of the cross.

Then I climbed further to the top of the mountains, all the while taking in the magnificent views as the sun began to rise fully.

But then of course, I had to come down, and it was tough. A very steep descent over several kilometres. But what made it especially tough were all the rocks. So so easy to twist an ankle. And it wasn't too good on my bad knee too.

I went down really slowly.

And as I was picking my way down carefully, and painfully, it occurred to me that once again, the Camino is like life.

Yesterday I surged up a very steep climb to Foncebadon. I almost ran, I felt so good. And then this morning, I climbed even higher, up to the heights, and I walked along this elevated ridge in awe of the beauty around me.

And then I dropped down. And it hurt. And it was unpleasant.

How often have we seen people climb to extraordinary heights – whether in business, or politics, the entertainment industry or sport – and then they drop fast. Painfully fast.

It's often an ugly rocky fall from the height of their greatness.

How can you avoid that? How can you reach those heights, and stay inured from the fall.

Today when I was walking towards Ponferrado, I heard the tap tap tap of someone walking up behind me. This surprised me, because it was about 2:30pm and few pilgrims walk after 1:30pm or so.

But this bloke walked up beside me and we got to talking. His name was Pieter, and he was from Holland. He had started in St. Jean Pied de Port only 17 days earlier. That meant he was zipping along.

He said he was averaging between 30-40 kms a day. He hadn't had one injury. And no rest days. He walked long hours each day, but also took long breaks.

What impressed me about him was his smile, and his ease. He had such an incredible sense of calm. He said good bye and tap tap tapped off, and it occurred to me I should take a photo, but he'd gone.

And then of course I thought of the rise and fall of the Camino. He had levelled it with his calmness. When you're calm, and content, as he seemed to be, there are no rocky descents.

There is just easy effortless forward movement through life.

Today I was horrible.

I will have to atone once I get to Santiago.

First, I'll explain the day: I stayed overnight in Astorga in an €8 a night albergue. It was crowded, and noisy, and there were a couple of furniture rattling snorers.

I left early with Ivan the Terrible and his wife, the lovely Giovanna. We had breakfast in a cafe on the outskirts of town, and were on the way by 7:30am.

Today we headed into the mountains. The last big range before dropping back down into Galicia, and the home stretch to Santiago.

Some of the pilgrims who've been together over three weeks now are starting to get sad. The end is in sight. Even though it's been tough at times, some strong friendships, and a couple of romances, have formed.

As we were leaving Astorga, we noticed a big bus pull up and disgorge a large number of pilgrims.

I felt great today. All my pain has now gone, for the moment at any rate, and I walked swiftly and strongly.

In fact I didn't realise but I walked 22 kms straight without stopping, or a break. Five hours. Towards the end I got a bit spacey, because other than a croissant at 7:15am I hadn't had anything to eat at all. But it put my head in a very interesting place. I had a robotic rhythm going with my walking, and I started to free associate with my thoughts. It was wonderful.

And then after 22 kms I stopped, went into a small store, bought two apples, a small bread roll, a wedge of cheese, and two cans of diet coke. I found a bench on the edge of town and sat down and had lunch by myself.

I then had a further 6km, a stiff climb, up into the mountains before ending up at Foncebadon, which is where I am now.

There's no wifi here so I will only post a couple of pics.

But, getting back to me being a horrible person today…

I'd been walking a couple of hours, was deep in a meditative place, when I heard these shrieks of laughter, and yelling and chattering behind me. I turned and saw this group of about fifteen pilgrims coming towards me. They were clomping along, and were making a huge racket.

I turned back and tried to zone them out, but I could feel them coming up fast behind me. They were like this boisterous tide – rolling along with their noisy laughter and the yelling and shrieking.

They got up alongside me and I looked across and said: Where are you from?

From Madrid, one of them said.

And where did you start the Camino, I then asked.

We started this morning, in Astorga, the bloke replied.

Ah, I said. That's why you're so loud.

The guy looked miffed.

Where are you from, he asked.

Australia, I said.

And where did you start?

From St. Jean Pied de Port, I said, trying to conceal my air of superiority. And failing.

Somewhat subdued, they moved on. Talking quieter.

I realised that in that one moment, I'd blown all my 21 days of Camino spiritual development.

I'd been a complete dick.

I shouldn't have begrudged them their first day's exuberance. The excitement at the start of their journey. And when I started to analyse why I'd reacted the way I had, I came to the conclusion that it had nothing to do with me being peeved that these people were coming into the Camino for merely the last third, and hadn't done the hard miles that we “true” pilgrims had done.

It had to do with the sacred nature of The Way.

For me, this path has become a place of contemplation and meditation. It has become sacred. It was like they'd walked into a church and started laughing and shouting. Same thing.

I was reacting to what I saw as disrespect for The Way. My sensitivities were heightened too because I'd walked about 15 kms non stop and I was a bit zonked.

But even so, I shouldn't have got annoyed. I should have been more tolerant. I should have beamed over at them beatifically and wished them love on the journey.

Instead I sniped.

I'm a horrible person.

I think I'll have to do the Camino again.

I left late this morning – 8:30am. I had some business stuff to attend to before I left, and also I was in no rush. I had the whole day to walk to Astorga, about 24 kms away. I was looking forward to getting to Astorga, not only because it's meant to be a beautiful town (and it is), it's also two thirds of the way to Santiago.

I looked at the map of Spain last night and couldn't believe how far I've walked so far.

Anyway, I set out, noticing that the temperature on the town's electronic gauge said 2 degrees C, and found that the path lead away from the highway down some beautiful tracks.

I stopped by an old abandoned shed in a field. It had a yellow arrow on it, and it just looked beautiful, so I took some shots. As I was doing this, a couple who'd stayed at my albergue last night walked up, with puzzled expressions on their faces.

What are you taking a photo of, they asked.

I nodded to the shed. Isn't is beautiful, I said. The simplicity of it.

They looked at the shed like they were looking at a Jackson Pollock painting, trying to figure out why it's worth $100m.

The man turned to me. It's simple, alright, he said, but it ain't beautiful.

He slapped me on the back sympathetically, the subtext being that I should get back on my medication really fast. Then he walked on, sneaking a relieved glance at his wife, as if they were lucky to be getting away from me with their heads still attached to their bodies.

I looked back at the shed. The guy was right. It was an old decaying farmer's shack, with a busted window. It was hardly the Sydney Opera House. Or the Chrysler Building. Or the Palace of Versailles. Yet I saw beauty in it, and he didn't.

He's a businessman from Newfoundland. I'm a film director. We see the world differently. There are things he would find beautiful that would probably not impact on me. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

Every day, I'm astonished at the beauty around me, and that sustains me on this walk.

I'm sure that other people don't see the Camino the same way I do – I have a particular visual aesthetic. Everyone does. Some people see beauty in sunsets or sunrises. I don't. Some people see beauty in vast vistas. I see beauty in old doors and bales of hay.

But we all see beauty. That's the thing. And it feeds us in the subtlest of ways.

The day I walked 41 kms, what kept me going was the beauty. The beauty of the changing light, the beauty of the storm clouds, the beauty of the fields and the colours.

The beauty took away my fatigue. It took away my pain. It made me feel light. It energised me. It RELAXED me.

For me, beauty is like love. It affects you emotionally in similar ways. It affects you chemically. You shift into a different space. You disengage from the real world. You do feel lighter. You do feel stronger. You find yourself doing things you wouldn't ordinarily do.

For me, every day I see beauty on the Camino.

Here's some of what I saw today: