I’ve come to the conclusion I’m a narcissist.

It didn’t take me long, principally because I’m incredibly smart.
Actually, brilliant is probably more apt.

See?
I’m a narcissist.

The mere fact that I’m writing this post – that in fact I have a blog at all, and in my own name what’s more – proves that I’m a narcissist.

I expect that others will be interested in my thoughts – that is, me – because I am what I think.

At least, I think I am.

I wasn’t always a narcissist.
I’ve become that way.
I’ve been required to.
It’s been a case of either become a narcissist or die.

Social media.
That’s what’s done it.

Social media demands that each of us flaunt our narcissistic tendencies. We want people to like us. We acquire self esteem through our number of likes. Our sense of worth is no longer measured by what car we drive, or what house we live in – it’s measured by our following. Our community. How many friends we have.

I have nearly five thousand friends on Facebook.
I know maybe 200 of them.
I’m friends with maybe 100 of them.
That’s all I have time for.
Friends require time.
And I don’t have a great deal of time,
because I’m too busy being narcissistic.
Finding new friends.

We have come into an age where we’re not only allowed to be narcissistic, it’s de riguer. In fact, if you’re not narcissistic there’s something wrong with you.

You’re old fashioned.
You’re not cool.
You don’t exist.

Being narcissistic and being humble aren’t mutually exclusive. In fact, they’re bed-fellows. I know people who tell people how humble they are.

Me: I’m humbler than you.
Him: No you’re not.
Me: Fuck yeah man, I’m way more humbler than you.
I’m on a spiritual journey and you’re not so I must be.
Him: (deflated) Oh yeah. I’m going to start my spiritual journey
once I get to 10,000 Instagram followers.
Me: Good luck with that.

I’m now going to post an image of myself on this blog.
What a wonderful act of narcissism.
Which photo should I choose?
There are so so many.
My god I’m handsome.
This is so difficult – choosing…
Me pensive?
Me virile?
Me ten years ago?
I know – I’ll choose this one…