Apologies

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This will be the first day since I started my walk when I haven't posted a blog.

I just feel I need to regroup. I feel empty.

Sorry.

My footy team got bundled out of the finals tonight, too. The Sydney Swans. That hasn't helped.

Tomorrow I'm changing my life.

Please use this post to talk amongst yourselves…

 

23 thoughts on “Apologies”

  1. So sorry you feel empty. You don’t say what triggered this, but you’ve poured out enough of yourself to the betterment of us all, it’s no wonder. When I was going through a really sad period, a wise man told me: Just remember there’s normal for normal times and normal for abnormal times and they are not the same. I also note you end with a look toward the future with a new project. “I’m going to change my life.” As Mr. Roger’s sang, ” I like you as you are….” However, whatever changes come, I’m, confident we’ll each and every one love you and delight in you still. Thanks for trusting us with this post and chin up.
    Blessings and better soon!
    Barbara

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    • Dear barbara –

      so beautiful for you to say this, thank you.

      I just needed 24 hrs to recharge, and rethink.

      My batteries had gone flat. But I’ve sorted everything out now, thank you!!

      Bill

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  2. What can I do to help, Bill?
    No charge, infinite patience, confidentiality…..its yours.
    I’ll just sit here and wait………………….:-)

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  3. Bill, not sure how to respond to your quote of “tomorrow I’m changing my life”. All I sense is that you have been burning your candle from both ends for some months now. My prompt of “get on with the film” was me joking with you a bit, I should have known, you see things mostly black and white, shades of grey for you. As much as we all cheer you own, I think we all noticed you being really driven. Not sure what makes you burn the midnight oil, day after day, week after week. There is always a consequence.. and maybe this is your PGS telling you, STOP, LISTEN… BREATH. Remember the silence you cherished while walking, seek the silence and be still for just a bit. Light and Love, blessings Ingrid

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    • Hi Ingrid –

      thank you – I just needed to stop, as you say – and listen to what was being said to me.

      Very lovely things you’ve said here – and you’re right – it’s important just to be silent for a while.

      Bill

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  5. Very sorry you feel empty Bill. You’ve given so much writing daily (and many times more) blogs for many, many months. Hugely commendable and much appreciated. Taking a break to nurture yourself is very wise. Love to you. Janet

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  6. 😦 No worries, you are quite faithful with this blog, more so than I ever could be. I can’t even read every day (although I sometimes spend hours catching up). Best to be patient with yourself and see what the you inside reveals.

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    • Dear Julie –

      this is very good advice, thank you.

      This is where contemplation time is so important.

      Steve said something to me in an email this morning which hit home – that I have to allow time to honour myself. I thought that was very wise too.

      I think that’s something we should all do…

      Bill

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  7. Bill, rest up and take whatever time it takes.
    I am currently in transit -London.
    Have been enjoying the fruits of your labour, so thank you. Half way through the book. Fantastic reading. Still 10 hours or so to Leon.
    Blessings
    Anne ✈

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    • Dear Anne –

      lovely to hear from you!!

      I hope the flight has been good, and delighted to hear you’ve been enjoying the book!

      Safe travels now for this last stretch.

      I LOVE León – you lucky thing!!

      Bill

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    • Anne,

      Have a wonderful Camino and enjoy Leon. It’s where I found my boots which relieved my heel pain allowing my pain to heal!! I really loved it and Burgos the best. I believe you are staying for 2 days. I wish you glorious fall weather, long beautiful days and restful nights.

      Xoxo

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  8. I was “Out of the Loop” for 10 days because my DH and I took a caravan vacation through France. First time ever in an RV. It was my way of thanking him for being so patient and supportive while I was on the CF. I took my iPad, laptop, etc, planning to continue my blogging but, surprise, no wifi! It turned into 10 days of no commo with the outside world, and 10 days to re-connect with myself and with each other. I needed that time to recharge. You have been working MUCH harder than me – your blog, your book, your film, your upcoming tour, your physical health. I hope your “mini-vacation” does the trick. Might be a nice idea for you to plan a REAL one for the near future.

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    • Thank you Kathy –

      what a wonderful trip you must have had through France!

      What areas did you go to? And in a RV too – that would have been really cool. A whole other side of france, from staying in hotels.

      I had a 24 hr recharge, so I’m back in the saddle again now.

      I enjoyed your blogs – they were always so beautifully written, with gorgeous photos.

      Bill

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  10. Hi Bill ! Kathryn (from Kat and Mike -California) here! I applaud you taking a break, and actually, for a little while I was thinking of sending you a comment that the blogs are not needed as often. The quality not quantity is better! I feel strongly that maybe once or twice a week max would give us all time to digest the good stuff. No need to fill the quiet and the silence, that breather between thoughts and observations is helpful for all of us, and gives us time to read comments, sit on it and make comments later. often I have been just reading the tag lines and not had the time to sit and read them all. Don’t let the good stuff of the blog become a burden. Think about it. You had never really planned on posting every day PC, it kind of happened. Now it may be time to make it a weekly thing, we can really look forward to.
    Love you and love the blog–simplify in peace. Kathryn

    PS. BTW< Our sons wedding celebration was "fun"ominal. My son gave a brief and beautiful talk about the 5 important things they had chosen and wanted support on in there lives together. the 5= Family (+friends, chosen family) , Communication, Simplicity, Perspective ,Gratitude.
    The 190 guests were blown away, and we were as proud as could be at their wisdom and ability to share it.
    We ate, drank, danced and were merry.
    At the end of the night, the guests were gone and Mike and I puttered a bit in the moonlight, astounded that a love energy was thick and lingering in the space around us. It was Quite awesome.

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    • Hi Kathryn,

      Thank you for your advice, which I know comes from your love and caring.

      Thank you.

      I try not to post unless I genuinely have something to say.

      Every morning before I start work my wife Jennifer and I sit in our sunroom (it’s still chilly here of a morning) and we talk. Often I wish I had a recording of these talks, because whilst my wife is not very fluent in her writings – and she would be the first to acknowledge this; it takes her a long time even to compose a reply to a comment on this blog – she is incredibly though loquacious in these talks with me. (Especially after a coffee!)

      The conversations we have are usually quite esoteric, and if anyone were to eavesdrop I’m sure they’d think we should be institutionalised! Sometimes I urge Jennifer to do a guest blog on what we’ve talked about, but she’s always reluctant. She is very shy when it comes down to it.

      But her take on things is informed by many many years of studying sometimes quite obscure and arcane esoteric and metaphysical texts. She is the wisest person I know. And the only person I know who has love in every cell of her body.

      Anyway, I find that these talks sometimes prompt me to blog. The contraction post came as a result of one of our talks. Although I simplified it a lot. Jennifer was talking about the space that’s created when you do yoga.

      I’m conscious that the value of this blog isn’t always in what I write, it’s in the comments and interchanges which follow. This is where a lot of very fascinating stuff gets discussed, and sometimes it bears no relation to the original blog subject. Which is great.

      I just write something on the blackboard then I stand back and let the classroom teach me!

      Bill

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      • Wow, I love that you two do that!! I would love to be a fly on the wall at your coffee time. My coffee time is for similar thoughts. Mike brings me coffee in bed every day ( the most loving gesture! I and when he is out of town I really miss it.) Then I think, meditate or pray and read some thoughtful material. This gets my brain and heart connected for the day. When I don’t get that time, I feel the day lacks something. And then If I am lucky I squeeze in a little yoga stretching when I get up.

        I am still hoping that I may figure out a way to join the portuguese group, and then I would have that chance to do coffee with you two!
        (with the wedding festivities concluded we will soon be able to calculate the actual possibility of that. Mike has to get out in the work world again, he has had quite a nice little sabbatical from the rat race!)
        His legs are still swollen and bothering him from the August Camino adventure!! that is a bit of a concern. I guess he needs to schedule another doctor appt.
        Kathryn

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        • Hi Kathryn,

          It’s great that Mike brings you coffee in bed. I used to do that with Jennifer for years, but now she prefers to get up first before coffee.

          What’s wrong with Mike’s legs? Is there soreness? I still don’t have full feeling back in my left foot, and of course my knee is still problematic.

          It would be great for you to join us on the Portuguese Tour, but your PGS will tell you the right thing to do!

          😀

          Bill

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